


Stay

by kittysomerville



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: #nodignity, Alcohol, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bard Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Blow Jobs, Canon-Typical Violence, Coercion, Dragoon Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Dubious Consent, Elezen (Final Fantasy XIV), Elezen Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Eventual Romance, F/M, Female Miqo'te (Final Fantasy XIV), Female Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Just Add Kittens, M/M, Male Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Mating Cycles/In Heat, Miqo'te (Final Fantasy XIV), Miqo'te Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Non-Consensual Drug Use, OC Romance w/ NPCs to "romance" along the way, Oral Sex, Pre-Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn, Recreational Drug Use, Self-Indulgent, Sex, She needs come yall, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smut, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:08:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 41,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25440667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittysomerville/pseuds/kittysomerville
Summary: Felina's dream to become a storied bard and adventurer would have always been a challenge, but her unusual heat makes that goal even more difficult to achieve. Luckily, she’s found a solution in her Hyur lover that will keep her both safe and satisfied. That is, until an ill-natured Elezen comes along and turns all those plans to dust.The last thing Pale ever wanted was to become a dragoon. His only wish was for the quiet life of a scholar, free from duty and family expectations. Unfortunately, the feisty blonde Miqo’te on his new squad is anything but quiet and has quite a wicked streak besides. What must a man do to create the peaceful life he craves?Together, they must find a way to reconcile their differences before both their dreams are ruined. But can a reluctant dragoon ever truly know peace? Can a woman with her affliction ever become a legend worth telling? Or can an unexpected love be the bridge that unites their disparate desires?UPDATE:2/26/21-I finally got a new chapter posted! Thank you so much for your patience!
Relationships: Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)/Original Character(s), Warrior of Light/Thancred Waters, Warrior of Light/Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)
Comments: 46
Kudos: 22
Collections: Heat Wave





	1. High Hopes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felina Silverleaf begins her final Grand Company trial before graduating as a newly trained archer.

"Vincent! Silverleaf! Hinshire! Keles! Form up to the South side of the arena to receive your assignment!”

Felina’s blond ears perked up as she heard her name called. As she made her way through the crowd, Felina managed to catch her longtime friend, Nightbird’s eye from the group of Conjurer’s guild trainees and waved. The other Miqo’te grinned and waved back. Starting tomorrow, they’d be fresh graduates working together in a more permanent group. She couldn’t see Kam or Glass Willow, but that was no surprise in this crowd. It was the last day of the joint guild and Grand Company trials, and though most people’s groups were pretty much set in stone, this past week’s trials had them working with others. The trials of the last seven days had focused on coordinating with unknown people, a skill that was still considered important and weighed heavily in the final rankings that determined mission allowances and pay. 

Today’s group of unknowns consisted of two Hyur, a rather meaty looking sword and board gladiator likely hailing from Ul’dah and a sweet-faced conjurer Felina had seen around town. Felina smiled at them as she approached. “Hi, guys! I’m Silverleaf, but my friends call me Felina! You ready to do this!?”

The gladiator guy roared a cheer as the healer giggled. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits today, and Felina laughed along with them. The man put out a thick hand, “Jonwol’s the name. Jonwol Vincent.” Felina took his hand, appreciating the firm grip and returned it in kind. 

She turned to the conjurer as she gave a small curtsy. “I’m Misha Hinshire. You can call me Misha.” She gave a shy smile, and Felina smiled back. 

“Nice to meet you both!” She scanned the crowd looking for anyone coming their direction. “So where’s our fourth?” When she didn’t see anyone approach she cupped her hands around her mouth, yelling into the crowd. “Keles?! We’re looking for Keles!”

Out of the crowd materialized a tall, pale-skinned Elezen lancer with piercing blue eyes and a frown. “Pipe down. I’m here.” He said with a growl.

Felina was taken aback and, from the looks of her companions, so were they. “Ummm…. Hi, I’m Felina. This is Jonwol and Misha. What should we call you?”

“Keles is fine. Let’s get this over with.” With little more than a glance, he strode over to the group adjudicator, leaving the others gobsmacked and silent. Felina looked to her new companions, but they just shook their heads and shrugged. _Nothing for it, I guess._ She jogged forward to catch up. 

Once all had assembled, the examiner, a dusky skinned Elezen woman with a bow strapped to her back, gave the mission briefing. “Good morning team. I am Lieutenant Sutiene, and I’ll be scoring your performance for today’s mission. For your final examination you will be assessing the Tam Tara Deepcroft located in the depths of the Central Shroud. There may or may not be cultist activity there, and while it is not likely we will encounter resistance, you need to be prepared to capture or dispatch any enemies we should meet. Any questions?” 

At the group’s silence, she continued, glancing down at her log book. “Let’s see… Silverleaf. You’ll be team lead on this mission.”

Keles gave a soft, but indignant “hm”, rolling his eyes. The sharp-eyed Elezen woman pinned him with a glare before making a mark in her log and snapping it closed. “Let us be on our way then. With me, team.”

**********************

Things were quiet on the road. It was a pleasant day in the Black Shroud. Dappled sunlight filtered through the canopy above as the breeze sighed and rustled the leaves. Felina had almost forgotten the awkward start to their journey when Sutiene spoke up. “So, does anyone know why I chose Ms. Silverleaf as the team lead today?”

Misha piped up. “Because she’s an archer?”

A short, sarcastic laugh escaped the pale Elezen. “Of course.”

Sutiene stopped and turned in the road. “Do you think I am playing favorites, Mr. Keles?”

He arched an eyebrow. “Well, aren’t you?” He looked from Felina’s bow over to Sutiene’s. 

“As a matter of fact, I am not, though I’m sure you’ve noticed archers are often given the role. Ms. Hinshire’s answer was not a bad one, but not completely correct. Archers are often given lead because of their position and mobility on the battlefield. Not to mention, archers have particularly honed eyesight. They are both able and expected to constantly scan the battlefield for changing conditions and call out orders based on those conditions. In addition, I saw how she rallied her newly met companions before presenting herself to me. You see, I was watching you all before you ever approached me.”

She folded her arms. “I am aware of the feelings some have toward archers. That they are cowards who are too afraid to join the fray, preferring instead to plink at enemies from afar. And it is true that lancers and other close combat positions tend to sustain more injuries and fatalities due to their close contact with the enemy, but the fact of the matter is that there would be far more if it weren’t for those with a clear view of the field to guide those on the front lines. While you and Mr. Vincent are facing down the enemy, Ms. Silverleaf and Ms. Hinshire will be watching the field.” 

Sutiene turned to the conjurer. “In fact, Ms. Hinshire that puts you at second in command should something befall Ms. Silverleaf.” 

The girl’s eyes grew wide. “But shouldn’t Jonwol be second? I mean, gladiators and warriors always take point in dangerous places.”

The lieutenant smiled. “You do make a good point, and it is a decision that each group has to make for themselves, but today, I have chosen you. Mr. Vincent, you will be third, and Mr. Keles, you may take lead if all others are incapacitated.”

Keles crossed his arms and frowned but remained silent. Sutiene turned to continue the journey. “Try not to be too cross, Mr. Keles. I could have dressed you down while we were still in Gridania.”

Once the lieutenant’s back was turned Felina grinned and turned toward Keles. Upon catching his eye, she made a face, tugging down her lower eyelid and sticking out her tongue. The asshole got what he deserved, and his frown only deepend at her taunt.

“I saw that, Ms. Silverleaf!!”

Felina’s head whipped around, but Sutiene’s back was still turned. _How?!_

Beside her, Keles snorted before falling in behind the lieutenant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks go out to HawkSong for allowing me the use of her character, Nightbird.  
> You can see more of her work here: [HawkSong](/users/HawkSong/)
> 
> If you'd like to converse, conspire, and collaborate with fellow FFXIV writers and artists, check out  
> [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/8C6ZKTj)  
>   
> [Chapter Title and Inspiration playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLeP6w042RhSMosRqBu47vhRqsqb93IFC2)


	2. Under Pressure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felina's final exam at the Tam Tara Deepcroft does not go quite as expected.

The air seemed to thicken as they approached the Deepcroft. The malaise that hung in the air prickled Felina’s skin, making the fine hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She rubbed the back of her neck trying to smother the sensation. Crypts had always given her the creeps, but this was no time to be succumbing to a case of the crawlies. She glanced at the others, but they didn’t seem to feel anything amiss. She must have been imagining things. By this point, Sutiene was looking at her expectantly. She swallowed and cleared her throat. She needed to get a hold of herself if she was going to lead this little expedition. “Ok, Jonwol, I’m going to have you take point.”

“Aye, captain.”

“Keles, you follow behind, and Misha, you go next. I’ll bring up the rear.” She glanced at the lieutenant, who only nodded. She would be following behind taking notes. For all intents and purposes she was little more than a spectator unless an emergency cropped up. “Remember, we’re looking for signs of cultist activity or anything else that looks suspect.” Misha and Jonwol nodded their assent while Keles stood cross-armed and waiting. “Any questions?”

“Are we going to stand here all day?” The tall elezen’s impatience clearly had not waned even from this morning. She wasn’t sure why. The mission took as long as it took.

Felina’s eyes narrowed, but she took her cue from the way Sutiene answered him in Gridiania that morning and chose to ignore the comment. “Let’s move out.”

*******************************************

They were on the third level of the croft and so far all they had managed to find were moldering food bits and stale piss pots. Clearly, there had been people here, but where they could have gone, was a mystery. The nearby watchtower had no reports of movement in the area lately, but clearly someone was inhabiting the croft. Felina kicked at a hardened heel of bread on the floor and sighed. Not the adventure she had been hoping the final exam would be, but she supposed not every outing would be exciting, even after graduation. Still this place was unsettling in its quiet, and she had the distinct feeling of being watched. A hot breath of air passed across her neck, and she whipped around, grabbing the back of her neck to see Keles standing across the room in the doorway.

“Losing your nerve, Silverleaf?” He arched an eyebrow at her. If he had been closer, she might have accused him of sneaking up on her, but there was no way he could have done so at that distance. Her irritation at his sarcastic tone, however, quickly burned away the weird sense of creepiness she had felt before.

She huffed. “Have you found anything?”

He looked slowly about the room, his eyes finally settling on the back wall. “Perhaps.” He crossed the room to get a better look. “The stone work’s been fairly consistent until we reached these last few rooms. This-” He touched the wall gingerly. “-is old. Very old.”

Felina shrugged. “So? Everything’s old here.”

“Not this old. In general construction gets newer the deeper you go in a croft like this.” He looked at her. “Tombs are created as they’re needed, so naturally lower levels should have newer materials. This, however, looks like something you would find in a temple ruin.” He turned to her. “I think there’s more down here than what we’re seeing.”

Felina blinked. “So you think there may be people hiding out in an undiscovered area down here? Surely, if there were such an area, it would have been found by someone by now.”

He shrugged. “My best theory is that whoever is down here did, in fact, find another way in and out of this croft. It would certainly explain why people on the surface haven’t seen any movement recently.”

She couldn’t deny the theory had merit, so she nodded. “Let’s talk to the others.”

*******************************************

Before long they were set about the task of finding a hidden entrance, Misha looking for magical means of concealment while the rest of them focused on physical. Once Keles pointed out the differences in the stone, it wasn’t hard to discern the old stone work from the ancient. Still it was something she never would have noticed on her own. Even Sutiene seemed impressed as she opened her small log book and scratched down some notes.

From down the passageway an alarmed yelp sent Felina flying out of the room she had been inspecting, bow nocked and ready with Jonwol and Keles hot on her heels. She found what must have been a storage room at the end. Inside, the conjurer sprawled on the ground halfway inside a tunnel lined with the same ancient stones they had been instructed to look for. She picked herself up, brushing away the dirt and cobwebs clinging to her white robe and laughed nervously.

“Sorry! I’m fine, just a bit startled. My hand passed through an illusory wall here, and I fell.” Her cheeks were red with embarrassment, but she looked otherwise fine. “Looks like the illusion’s gone now though.”

Felina lowered her bow, breathing a sigh of relief. “Ok, good work, Misha. How about we let Johwol take point from here?” The girl nodded and quickly took her place between Keles and herself. “Let’s go.”

*******************************************

They followed the tunnel down until it let out into a larger open hall. Here the signs of habitation were a lot more apparent. Felina wasn't sure how much of the undiscovered ruin they should be delving into since none of them were official guild graduates yet. She turned to ask the lieutenant who had been following behind and furiously scribbling notes, but she was gone. Felina startled at her absence, though panic did not truly start to sink in until she realized the tunnel they had just emerged from had vanished along with her.

"Um, guys… We have a problem."

From behind, she heard the conjurer’s gasp and a soft “Oh no.”

“Misha, please tell me this is another illusion.”

The girl rushed forward, putting her hands on solid stone walls. “No, no, no, no....” The panic in her voice was rising, and Felina heard the elezen behind her curse as he stepped forward, grabbing the conjurer by the shoulder and shaking her.

“Pull yourself together, damn you!”

Misha burst into tears, and Felina shot Keles a searing glare before pulling the girl away from the elezen’s grip. “Hey, hey, hey… It’s ok... We’re going to get out of here.”

“We’re trapped!” The conjurer practically threw herself into Felina’s arms, catching her completely off guard. Keles sighed and rolled his eyes, and she shot him another withering glance. She wrapped her arms around the girl and smoothed her hair.

“Shhh… I promise we’re going to be ok. We’ll find the lieutenant, and we’ll find the exit, and we’ll be home before you know it.” She patted her back. “Listen, I’m the best archer in my class, and I’d be willing to bet Jonwol’s the best fighter in his.” She didn’t truly know her ranking, but a little white lie wouldn’t hurt anyone now.

From behind her the gladiator spoke up. “You bet your ass I am!”

Felina smiled at Jonwol’s willingness to play along. “See? And Keles over there? I’d be willing to bet he’s the best in his class too. Because he’s an asshole, and no one likes him, so all he does all day is play with his lance.”

She heard the gladiator’s strangled laugh, and Misha relaxed in her arms and started to laugh as well. She pulled away, wiping at her eyes, and Felina smiled down at her. “So, aside from being an asshole, Keles here seems to be some sort of architectural genius. So tell us, Keles,” She turned the girl around in her grasp to face him. “is there exit to these ruins somewhere down here?”

The elezen’s arms were crossed and a deep frown graced his lips. Felina even thought she spied a twitch in his eye. “Yes.”

She squeezed the girls shoulders and shot Keles a wicked grin from behind her back. “See? We’re golden.” Misha nodded and Felina let her go. “Alright then. Let’s find that exit.”

*******************************************

Felina was out of breath. What in the world had they gotten themselves into? There were a lot more cultists down here than one would expect. Down two more levels and they still had not located the lieutenant or the exit. She’d never been so scared in all her life, but she refused to let it show. Misha was holding up better than expected, thank the gods. Felina tossed her another ether, and she drank it down eagerly, the potion serving to slake her thirst as well as restore her magic. If it weren’t for her, they’d all be dead by now. Jonwol and Keles were panting as hard as she was. They were all close to their limits. They had managed to find a small alcove to catch their breath, and for the moment, could hear no further sounds of pursuit.

Keles unscrewed the cap of his canteen and drank deep. _Good idea._ Felina reached for her own to find it gone. She must have lost it in the fighting at some point.

“Here.” He tossed the canteen over to her, and she caught it with a grateful nod.

“Thanks.” The water seemed to cool her from the inside out, and her mind eased its way out of the fog of adrenaline and over exertion. She tossed the canteen back. “Where do we go now?”

He wiped the sweat from his brow. “I think I saw some stairs up ahead. They may lead us out of here.”

“We still haven’t found the lieutenant.” Jonwol panted.

Felina shook her head. “If we find the exit first, we go for help. We’re not going to abandon her.”

Jonwol nodded. “You’re right.”

Felina looked over at the conjurer. “How’s your magic? Are you ready to keep going?”

Misha nodded. “Yeah.” She leaned against the wall, slowly picking herself up off the floor. “Let’s get out of here.”

*******************************************

They crept through the darkened passageways, ducking into rooms when voices came close by, hoping to avoid any fighting if possible. They found the stairs and ascended, being careful of the crumbling stone beneath their feet. It let out into another passageway, this one a good bit wider than previous ones. Incense burned in alcoves at intervals, filling the room with a thick, heady perfume. It put Felina in the mind of a ritual processional and a faint unease settled in her belly. As they came to the end of the hall, it opened into a wide, impossibly tall cavern. A large round pedestal connected by a small stone footbridge sat in the center of a deep chasm.

Felina’s eyes widened just as Jonwol spoke. “By the gods....” In the center of the platform stood a mindflayer, and with it, bound but also seemingly frozen, was Sutiene.

“Run!” Her plea carried across the chamber, but Felina’s body was already in motion.

“Lieutenant!” Her feet were on the platform before she even realized she had crossed to it. Jonwol was close at her heels as Misha and Keles followed suit.

The mindflayer screamed, sending a wave of magic across the platform, collapsing the stone bridge out from under her party’s feet. Jonwol made it before the collapse, but the other two started to fall. Panic filled Felina’s chest and time seemed to slow. There was no way they’d make it. Misha was only halfway across and Keles not far behind her. The chasm loomed deep and black as the abyss beneath the falling stones. As their heads disappeared below the platform, the feeling in her chest seemed to burst forth as she screamed.

“Keles! LEAP!”

The words echoed off the cavern walls as another sickening moment ticked by. Then, amazingly, there they were. Keles was flying, the conjurer in his grasp as they landed on the platform. Misha blinked, realizing her feet were on solid ground and let out an audible breath. The elezen looked just as surprised as she did, but quickly set his eyes on the enemy before him and readied his lance.

“Let us do away with this thing!”

Jonwol screamed a battle cry as he charged along with the lancer. Felina nocked her bow as Misha brought out her cane. Almost immediately, the mindflayer summoned imp minions to harry them as it encased itself in an energy barrier. Felina called out the arrival of the summons and Keles took to the air to take out the imps on the other end of the platform as Jonwol kept the mindflayer’s attention. Felina shot down her marks and turned her attention to the mindflayer. She sent an arrow flying at the enemy only to see her arrow shatter before it reached its mark.

“Shield's not down!”

The lancer, finishing the minions, turned and with the gladiator struck blows at the shield to no avail. More imps swarmed in and Felina loosed a volley of aether arrows at the pests, stunning them and sending them plummeting into the abyss below.

“It’s not working!” Jonwol shouted. It seemed the shield would not budge despite their repeated pummelling. Keles took a step back and leaped again bringing his lance down on the top of the shield, and energy sparked beneath the tip of his lance. The energy blasted him back, and he landed square in front of the conjurer who quickly healed his injuries. He got back up and lept again, bringing another blow down on the mindflayer’s shield only to be blown away yet again. He got up with a growl and lept again, bringing the lance down with so much force it shattered in his hands and sent him rolling, weaponless, away.

Felina hurried to get between him and the mindflayer, bow drawn, though she wasn’t sure what she could possibly do against it with those shields in place. Keles spoke as he dragged himself up from the floor. “I cracked it! You’re going to need to hit it again in the same spot!”

Felina glanced behind her incredulously. “How?! I can’t jump like that!”

“Here!” He knelt, locking his fingers together as if to boost her over a wall. It was crazy, but what else could they do?

She took a deep breath. “Let’s do this!” She set her foot firmly in his hands and felt a searing heat beneath her boot. He was focusing the energy of his leap into his hands. Her eyes grew wide as he heaved her upwards, and suddenly she was flying. Again, time seemed to slow. Her stomach lurched as she left the floor far behind. _Shit, shit, shit, shit!_ She gripped her bow as she flipped, finding herself vertical and staring down at the mindflayer’s head. She drew and loosed at the sparkling crack in the enemy’s shield and saw it shatter under the arrow’s blow. Elation filled her followed by sudden realization that now she had to land. She thrashed her tail, twisting her body so that her feet hit first and slid backwards with the force of her impact. Her relief lasted only a moment before the floor disappeared beneath her feet. She scrambled as she slid over the edge, catching herself at the last moment.

In the distance, the mindflayer screamed in agony as the gladiator ran it through with his sword. As it hit the floor, its eyes, full of hatred, met hers across the platform. Freeze! The word echoed in her head, and her muscles locked up, no longer under her control. She was slipping and then falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to converse, conspire, and collaborate with fellow FFXIV writers and artists, check out  
> [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/8C6ZKTj)
> 
> [Chapter Title and Inspiration playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLeP6w042RhSMosRqBu47vhRqsqb93IFC2)


	3. Throw Your Arms Around Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions rise as the events of the Tam Tara Deepcroft expedition threatens the team Felina and her friends worked so long to build.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have started adding pictures to my fic! If you've read Chapters 1 and 2 already, go take a look! I will be adding pics to this entry as well as soon as I'm able!

Felina was falling. Somewhere in the haze of her fear, her mind registered a shape flying toward her. Suddenly, her frozen body was folded into an iron grip that rolled as they fell. The elezen turned them to absorb the impact of their landing as the floor of the cavern rose to meet them. Landing on his feet, he, nevertheless, stumbled as they hit the chasm floor, sending them both sprawling, but thankfully alive. He shook himself and looked up to see her lying, unnaturally still on the ground before him. On hands and knees he scrambled over, grabbing her up and turning her over to frantically look her over. "Are you ok?!"

She tried to respond, but her lips wouldn’t move. The mindflayer's spell still coiled around her mind, leaving her silent and paralyzed. 

He patted her cheek as if trying to wake her. "Come on. Say something!" 

He sounded like he might actually be worried. Either worried or angry. Who knew? She wanted to laugh but the spell would not allow it. 

He shook her then, a twinge of alarm coloring his voice. "You had better not die after I jumped down here after you!"

Ah, there's the elezen she was familiar with. The spell started to wane and small puffs of laughter escaped her. Her muscles finally softened, and she went slack in his arms.

He let out a sigh of relief, nearly slumping over her. "What is so funny?"

Manic giggles bubbled on her lips as she tried to form the words. "Y-you… You were worried about me!"

His eyes widened, and then he frowned. "I did not exactly savor the idea of hauling your corpse out of this place." His irritation only made her cackle louder.

From somewhere up above Misha's voice called out. "Felina! Keles!"

He sighed and called back "We're ok!" He looked back down at the giggling woman in his arms and muttered. "Some more than others."

**************

It was late when they finally arrived back in Gridania. Gathered around the Adder’s Nest were clusters of people milling about nervously. When they finally came into view a voice called out from the crowd.

“They’re here! They made it back!”

All eyes turned to face them and several people rushed forward to greet them. Among them a lean Hyurian man of middling height with dark hair and soft chocolate eyes nearly bowled Felina over, snatching her up in a tight hug.

“Gods, Felina! We were so worried!” 

Breathless from his embrace, Felina chuckled. “I’m ok, Kam.”

A fair skinned roegadyn folded them both in a larger embrace while a dark skinned miqo’te woman fussed over them all. 

“Give her some room! I need to look her over!” 

Felina laughed, squeezing the Hyur before pulling back to look at them. “I’m fine, Nightbird! A bit tired and dirty, but I promise I’m okay!” The dark miqo’te didn’t look completely convinced but nodded her assent regardless. 

From the side a trio of girls cried out, “Misha!!” clustering around the young conjurer while another group gathered around Jonwol, whooping and clapping him on the back. Sutiene saluted as an officer approached.

“At ease, lieutenant. I’m guessing you have much to report.”

She nodded. “Indeed, sir. I have quite the tale. I am ready to report at your convenience.”

The older officer nodded and turned to the celebrating group. “To Lieutenant Sutiene’s group, I will want your reports first thing tomorrow morning!”

“Yes, sir!” came the reply from somewhere in the crowd. 

Felina smiled. “I really need a drink. Let’s go celebrate!” Her companions nodded, and she waved down her party members from the day’s trial. “Hey! Come have a drink with us! We’re heading to the Carline Canopy!”

“Hells yeah!” came the reply from the gladiator while the cluster of girls giggled and followed on. 

The elezen stepped toward the officer. “I’d like to go ahead and give my report now, sir, if I may.”

The officer glanced toward the merry group and back to Keles. “Are you certain you would not rather wait until morning?”

The lancer looked at the group for a moment and back at the officer. “Quite certain.”

The older man simply nodded. “Very well then. With me.” 

As the officers and the lancer walked away, Felina couldn’t help but notice no one had come to greet him. Did no one worry for him the way her friends and the others’ friends did? He turned and looked back as if he had somehow heard her thoughts, but before she could even wonder at it, her feet left the ground, and she yelped as Kam swept her up. She laughed in surprise as he carried her on towards the Carline Canopy grinning like a fool at catching her off guard. As he carried her away, she looked back, but Keles was no longer there.

************************

  
(Felina telling Kam the tale of their misadventures in the Deepcroft.) 

Morning light shone into the windows of the Carline Canopy’s famous inn rooms. Felina stretched her aching limbs as the man beside her gradually woke. She glanced at the chronometer sitting on the little bedside table. She had about an hour before she was due at the Twin Adder’s headquarters. As she began to sit up, an arm circled her, drawing her back down into bed.

“Where do you think you’re going, Little Lina?”

She chuckled. “I need to get a bath, Kam.”

He pulled her closer, spooning her against him. “You had one last night, remember? _I_ certainly remember.” He started laughing in that mischievous way she knew meant he was gearing up for another round. His hand cupped her breast, and she moaned as he squeezed. 

She sighed. She dearly wanted to stay in bed this morning. She always had a hard time getting up in the mornings, and Kam seemed determined to make it even more difficult. “I really don’t want to show up to the Adder’s Nest smelling like _you_.” 

Kam feigned offense. “Awww… I thought you liked the way I smelled. Besides, you’re the only one I know with a nose sharp enough to tell anyway.” His hand moved down her body and between her thighs.

“It’s still distracting.” She gasped. “Just like your hands are right now.” She could feel him hardening against her bottom. 

“I’m just helping you clear your head before the interview.” He pressed a kiss against her neck, and she whined a little in response.

“I took my potion. I’ll be fine.” 

“It was a bit late this time.”

“Not that late…” 

“Felina, I know you.”

He was right, but she hated it. The moment he touched her this morning, her resolve had crumbled. She was already wet with need. “Ok, but it needs to be quick.”

He turned her over to face him. “As you wish.”

******************

Felina rushed out into the common room, hair ruffled and with an air of mild panic about her. She didn’t manage to get that bath like she had intended. She made her way outside the Carline Canopy having snagged a pastry on the way out. Mother Miounne had waved her on saying she would collect her tab next time. Nightbird was already waiting for her outside, arms crossed. 

“So there you are. I was about to come in after you.”

Felina chewed her pastry. “I’m not that bad at mornings.”

Nightbird snorted. “You are, and you know it. I suppose you had Kam to get you up and about this morning.”

“Ah… yeah. In a manner of speaking.” Her chagrined smile told the whole truth.

Her friend only smiled and reached up to smooth the blonde miqo’te’s short, pixie strands. “Come on. I’ll walk you to the Adder’s Nest.”

“Wait! Real quick.” Felina leaned in close and whispered. “Do I smell?”

Nightbird leaned closer and gave a couple of sniffs. “I don’t smell anything out of the ordinary.”

She paused. “Is that good or bad?”

The dark haired miqo’te outright laughed. “You don’t smell good or bad.” At her friend’s questioning look she continued. “You smell neutral, Felina. Now come on! You’re going to be late!” 

At that, Nightbird summarily marched her to the Nest.

*****************

The interview seemed to take forever as Felina recounted the events of the previous day. Sutiene and the older officer nodded as they took notes, comparing them to the other team members’ accounts. Of course she had been the last to arrive, likely because of Kam’s intervention this morning. As much as she hated to admit it though, she _was_ much clearer headed for it.

Sutiene spoke up “Tell me again what you felt when you called out to Mr. Keles when the bridge to the pedestal collapsed.”

Felina paused to think back on the moment. “I saw my companions falling, and I got this feeling in my chest. It wasn’t fear, though I was afraid for them. It was right beside it, if that makes sense. I wanted with every fiber of my being to help them somehow, and I felt something in me… change. Like someone turned on a lamp. I don’t know why I shouted at Keles to leap, but I knew, somehow, it was what I needed to do. It was like for a moment that lamp flared inside me, and I _felt_ the words leave my mouth. And then there he was. Just flying, with Misha in his grasp. He looked as surprised as I felt.”  
  
The older officer nodded. “And when the lancer…” He looked deeply suspicious as he read his notes. “...tossed you over the enemy?”

Felina rubbed the back of her neck. “I think ‘hurled with great velocity’ might be a more apt description, but yeah… I wouldn’t believe it either if I hadn’t been there.”

The officer looked over at Sutiene. “She’s not wrong. I’ve never in all my years seen such a maneuver.”

Felina continued. “I don’t know why either of us thought it would work, but we seemed to have run out of other options, so… up I went. I managed to get in a good shot and the shield came down.”

“Keles caught her too, when the mindflayer cast its paralysis on her. I’ve never seen anyone move so fast. He just flew over the edge after her. I thought they were both dead. In truth none of us should have survived that encounter. I was saying my final prayers to the Twelve, but it seems they had other plans.” She turned to Felina. “Ms. Silverleaf, let me be blunt. What I witnessed in that cavern was the spontaneous awakening of a bard _and_ a dragoon. And the ease with which you combined your abilities, is something you only see in veterans of many campaigns.”

She was at a loss for words. “So… what does that mean?”

The lieutenant replied. “In short, your squad make up may be changing in light of what happened in the Deepcroft.”

Felina’s eyes went wide. “No! I mean- please, no! You don’t know how long I’ve trained with Nightbird and Glass and Kam! We work together like clockwork!”

The older officer put up a hand as he glanced over to Sutiene. “There have been no decisions made as of yet. We certainly do try to weigh in favor of those who have a long history of teamwork, but we also have to consider what is best for the team as a whole. And when we find such talent, we must do all we can to nurture it. With that goal in mind, we have decided to suspend formal squad selections for the time being. We won’t make you wait overlong, but we must have time to deliberate and determine the best path for all candidates.”

Her head spun. Certainly they wouldn’t change things so suddenly over one lucky encounter. “Yes, sir.” It was all she could think of to say.

***************

By that afternoon, Gridania was abuzz with the news of the postponed squad assignments. The tale of their fight in the Deepcroft had spread along with the news, making it difficult to find any place where she would be left alone. Any other day, Felina might have welcomed the attention, but she was in no shape to deal with crowds of people. Nightbird was good enough to accompany her to the Archer's Guild, waving away those who might want to stop her to hear her side of the tale. 

The Twin Adders had sent her on to meet with Bowlord Lewin about her performance and her "awakening" as they called it. Supposedly, the Bowlord could get her in contact with a proper trainer in the Bardic arts. From her youth, she had dreamed of becoming a bard like the ones in her father's tales. It was finally happening, but between her worry over the potential squad change ups and her present physical agitation, she could hardly summon the excitement she should have felt.

By the time her meeting with the Bowlord was finished and she had gotten a bite of lunch, Felina's senses were prickling. The sights and sounds and smells of the city were becoming overwhelming, and Nightbird steered her back toward the inn.

"Get thee to the Canopy..." Nightbird said chuckling at her own prose. "I imagine Kam is waiting for you to return."

Felina sighed. "I'm sure he is. He insisted on a suite even though I told him to save the money."

The other miqo'te shrugged. "Perhaps he just wanted to celebrate our graduation or the fact that you’re alive at all after that encounter yesterday."

She let out a breath. "That's what he said, but still… I don't like him spending so much on me."

Nightbird let out a single "hmp", folding her arms. "Oh believe me, he's getting plenty in return. That said, if it really bothers you, you should tell him."

"I know. I'm just not up for it right now."

Nightbird nodded and patted her friend on the back. "Go on inside. Try to get some rest."

Felina gave her a small smile. "Thanks, Nightbird."

**********************

It was evening and Felina was somehow both exhausted and wired. Her body just didn’t seem to want to let her rest. She had gotten short naps here and there, but it was never long before her body roused her to wakefulness once again. She had, indeed, taken her usual remedy much too late. Kam didn’t seem to mind the extra effort though. He lay stretched out beside her, combing his fingers through her hair. She suppressed a purr, but not before he noticed. 

“You know, you don’t have to be so guarded around me. You can purr, you know. Wiggle your ears. Swish your tail.”

Felina sighed. “You know I don’t like to do those things if I can help it.”

“Nightbird doesn’t seem to have a problem expressing herself that way or most other miqo’te for that matter.”

“They didn’t have the same experience I did.”

He sighed. “I know.” He leaned up on an elbow to look her in the eyes. “I don’t suppose you could let your guard down at least for a little while?”

“If I do it with you, I risk doing it with others. I just don’t like that side of myself.” 

He caressed her cheek. “I know.” Kam leaned down and kissed her tenderly. When he pulled away he searched her eyes. “What if it was just us? Together.”

“Kam, we’ve talked about this. I don’t want to get into it again.”

The pain was clear in his gaze. “I don’t understand. We’ve gone through all this trouble to be together, why can’t we just _be together_?”

She pushed him away, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. “I told you. I don’t want that. I’m not made for that sort of relationship.”

Kam sat up, reaching for her bare shoulder. “That’s what you say, but how long have we been doing this?”

“Too long, apparently!” She stood up and walked across the room, well out of his reach and began searching for her scattered clothing.

Kam followed, grabbing up his smalls from the floor and tugging them on to give himself some semblance of decency as he argued. “Felina, it’s been well over a year since you’ve had any sort of… incident, and yes, that’s been because of me. And believe it or not, I wouldn’t keep doing this if I didn’t care about you.”

“You don’t know that, Kam.” She snatched a tunic from the floor and pulled it over her head.

“I do! You think I don’t know my own mind?! That you have some mystical sway over me all the rest of the time that you don’t _need_ me? I think _you’re_ the one who doesn’t know her own mind.”

Felina stopped her search, narrowing her eyes. “Excuse me?”

He took her by the shoulders, searching her eyes. “You can’t tell me you don’t care about me too.”

Her lips drew into a hard line as she stared back at him. “That’s not fair, Kam.” She shrugged out of his grasp and grabbed up more clothing from the floor. “I need some air.”

“Felina don’t.” He reached for her again, but she shoved his hand away.

“Don’t touch me! I don’t want your help, Kam!”

He took a step back. She hadn’t been that angry in a long time. She grabbed up her trousers, hurrying into them. She shoved her boots on and grabbed the brown travelling cloak off the hook near the doorway. 

Kam laughed in a way that both infuriated her and tore at her heart. “You don’t need me, but you’re going to take my cloak.” The exasperation and pain were clear in his voice. 

Felina shot him a look. “Are you going somewhere?” When he shook his head, she growled. “You’ll get it back.” She reached for the doorknob and paused, not deigning to look at him. “And if you follow me, I swear to the Twelve, you’ll regret it.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks go out to HawkSong for allowing me the use of her character, Nightbird.  
> You can see more of her work here: [HawkSong](/users/HawkSong/)
> 
> If you'd like to converse, conspire, and collaborate with fellow FFXIV writers and artists, check out  
> [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/8C6ZKTj)
> 
> [Chapter Title and Inspiration playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLeP6w042RhSMosRqBu47vhRqsqb93IFC2)


	4. Save You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pale reflects on his experience with the strange miqo'te woman, Felina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: This chapter contains non-con drug use and attempted rape. Please use your best judgement when reading.

The elezen stared down into his mug, The Emerald Cask was blessedly free of crowds this night. It was a piss poor tavern despite the fancy name, which suited him just fine as long as he didn’t have to put up with the pests in the Lancer’s Guild barracks. From the moment the story of yesterday’s encounter broke, he’d gotten no peace. They all wanted to hear the story from him, a fellow lancer—though supposedly he was a dragoon now, according to the senior officers at the Twin Adder and the Lancer’s Guild. 

He scowled and took a long pull of the bitter ale. His plans were in shambles now. The last thing he’d ever wanted was to be a dragoon. If only he’d never been assigned to that group—never met  _ her _ . He'd been thinking about that damned miqo'te woman since they parted ways. Even now, his mind drifted back to the chasm deep within Tam Tara...

****************

When he grabbed her up from the cavern floor, he was shaken. Why had he done something so reckless for someone he barely knew. Someone who had managed to irritate him from the moment he laid eyes on her. Panic had overtaken him for a moment when she didn't move. In that instant he had thought her dead, but whatever spell she'd been under finally released its hold on her, and she melted against him. His own body relaxed, slumping forward as quiet laughter finally escaped her lips. It was only then he registered… something. It wasn’t quite a scent, it was more ephemeral than that, but it reminded him of moonlight and jasmine. The body in his arms rested, soft and warm against him, and he pulled the miqo’te woman closer. Before he could reflect further, her rising laughter shook him from his reverie. 

“What is so funny?”

"Y-you… You were worried about me!"

Her taunt took him aback, and he shot back his own retort. "I did not exactly savor the idea of hauling your corpse out of this place." His irritation rose as she laughed louder. The woman had some gall—tormenting the one who had literally saved her life only moments before. He called out to the others that they were okay as her giggles finally seemed to subside. “Are you quite done?”

She hiccuped and sighed looking up at him. He frowned down at the ridiculous woman, and was quite taken aback when she reached up to touch his cheek. “Smile. We’re alive.” The gesture froze him in place, and he sucked in a breath as the glimlight that filtered to the cavern’s floor reflected in her eyes. He shivered as she began tracing the lines of the blue facial marking and smiled. “It’s the same color.”

“What?” His voice had grown thick, his words seeming to lodge themselves firmly in his throat.

“As your eyes.” 

How could she even tell in this low light? It didn’t matter. He caught her hand. “Stop.”

Her eyes changed as sudden realization seemed to wash over her. “I’m sorry. I’m... not myself right now.”

He let go of the breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. “It’s fine. We should get out of here.” The delicate hand he held in his grasp shook even as he released it. He put his arms under her, scooping her up as he staggered to his feet. His knees felt weak. The fight had exhausted him, and the adrenaline that had sustained him was beginning to wane. He looked up to the platform above him.  _ Gods, please, just a little bit more. _

She shifted in his arms, curling more closely against him. “Can you make the jump?”

At that point he really wasn’t sure. He was silent as he stared up.

“Keles?”

“Pale,” he whispered.

“What?”

“Call me Pale.” He looked down at her. “It’s my name.”

She smiled softly and nodded. “Ok.” She took a deep breath and placed an impossibly warm hand on his chest. “Pale… leap.”

****************

He took another long drink. The memory had followed him back to the barracks that night where, for a mercy, the shower stalls had been empty, and he could be alone with his thoughts of her smell and the way she'd felt cradled against his body. His own thoughts perplexed him though. He’d never given more than a passing glance at a miqo’te woman.

From across the room, he heard a slight scuffle. He frowned. He had hoped this poor excuse for a pub would prove more quiet than others. It seemed the miqo’te male had struck out on his little play for attention with some poor wench and had not taken it terribly well. He sulked back to his companion at another table, leaving the lone figure near the hearth to her drink. At least that was settled quickly. He looked into his empty mug and got to his feet, making his way over to the bar for a refill.

He plunked down a couple of gil and the bartender slid another mug across to him. The ale sloshed over the rim and onto Pale’s sleeve. He glared at the bartender, fixing him with an icy stare. “I’m not taking a short pour because you couldn’t be arsed to hand my mug over.” 

The bartender balked and quickly rushed over to top off his mug, bowing apologetically. “Sorry, sir! Consider it on the house!”

Pale scowled, dragging the overfull mug across the bar, and lifting it slowly so as not to spill any more of his drink. “Keep the damn gil.” He was starting to regret his choice of tavern. 

When he turned, he noticed the miqo’te’s hyurian companion hovering near the lone woman. The miqo’te approached again, trying to get the wench to speak to him, and she rebuffed him again, though this time with significantly more force. The miqo’te went sprawling across the floor as the woman grabbed her drink and headed out the door. Despite himself, Pale smiled faintly. The clod deserved as much. He went back to his seat in the corner and mulled over the drink in his hand as the hyur picked his friend up from the floor. 

He found himself wondering about her again.  _ Felina _ . That was her name, and in some strange moment of sentimentality, he had given her his own. Was she as miserable with the attention as he was? Doubtful. She seemed to enjoy it from the small amount of time he had spent with her. She was more likely holding court with her many admirers and making sport those she deemed unworthy or unappealing. That was simply the way women of her ilk were. He frowned. But why couldn't he stop thinking about her?

He finished his ale and stood up from the table. He had better stop or he would have to deal with a hangover in the morning, among other things. The folks at the barracks were likely asleep by now, most of them anyway. 

He made his way outside and started the long walk back when he heard a noise. It sounded vaguely like a whimper but it made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. He followed the sound, making his way down an alley where the noises grew louder. He turned a corner to see the hyur and miqo'te men. They had a woman pressed against the wall, though, to his eyes, they didn't seem to be forcing themselves on her. She kissed the miqo'te and then reached for the hyur, pulling him closer as well and planting a hard kiss on his mouth. Her hands wandered over them both, and she moaned as the hyur bent to kiss her neck.  
  
This couldn't be right though. The drab oversized cloak she wore was unmistakable—it was the same woman who had rebuffed the miqo'te man earlier and fiercely enough to send him flying. What was going on?  
  
At that moment the hyur caught sight of him. "Oi! Looks like we have another interested party. I saw you eyein' her too. You can have a turn with her once we're done. This one's real pliant." He turned and grabbed the woman by the chin. "Ain't ya, sweetheart?"  
  
She moaned again as the miqo'te squeezed her breast. She tipped her head back letting the hood of her cloak fall away, revealing short blonde locks and a pair of furry ears. Pale sucked in a breath. It was her.  
  
"What have you done to her?" Fury rose up in his throat.  
  
"Ah, don't worry, mate." The hyurian approached. "She already wanted it, she just needed a little liquid encouragement, is all. An' look, if you're worried about her regretting our little tumble here, she won't remember it by morning anyways." 

Pale's eyes narrowed. "Oh, I am going to enjoy this." 

The hyur laughed. "Now that's the spirit! Everyone wins tonight!"

Pale stepped forward and swung, landing a blow to the hyurian's jaw and sending him reeling. The miqo'te male startled, releasing Felina and leaving her to slide down the alley wall. "What do you think you're doing?!"

"Blowing off some steam." The elezen closed distance with the miqo'te, delivering a blow that bent his opponent double. 

The miqo'te groaned, staggering backwards, as his companion rubbed his jaw. "Come on! She ain't worth it!"

The miqo'te male lunged toward Pale, ignoring the hyur and knocking the elezen backwards. Pale grunted in surprise at the much smaller man's strength, as he grappled him to the ground. "Fuck you, elezen! I saw her first! She's mine!"

"What's gotten into you, mate?!” the hyrian called. “She's not worth the trouble!"

"Shut up!" the miqo'te spat as he continued to wrestle the larger man. 

The distraction was small, but it was just enough for Pale to free one of his hands and land a blow to the man's ribs. The miqo'te yowled and rolled off of him, clutching his side while the elezen scrambled to his feet. 

The hyurian, ran forward and grabbed his companion by the shoulders. "That's enough! Let's get the fuck outta here!"

The miqo'te coughed and finally conceded after being hauled bodily to his feet, but not before he shot the elezen a hateful look. As the pair limped away, Pale ran over to the woman slumped on the ground and knelt. "Are you hurt?"

Felina panted, her face flushed as she looked up at the elezen. "Pale?"

She recognized him though her eyes seemed somewhat glazed. "Yes," he acknowledged. "Can you stand?" He held out his hand.

"I think so." She looked at the offered hand, noticing the redness and bleeding knuckles. "You're hurt."

"It's fine. I'll have a healer look it over." Though he thought better of it and offered her the other hand.

She took it and allowed him to pull her up. She swayed on her feet and shook her head. “I know I didn’t drink that much.”

Pale frowned and held out a steadying arm. “They drugged you.”

“Oh.” She seemed sad but not surprised.

“Has this happened before?”

Felina sighed. “A long time ago.” 

The thought made his blood boil. “Let’s get you out of here.”

She nodded and took a stumbling step forward. Pale reached out and caught her before she fell. “I’m sorry. I just feel really dizzy.”

“It’s ok. Here.” He scooped her up, ignoring the ache in his hand, and made his way out of the alley. 

She leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. “Sorry I’m so weak.”

He shook his head. “You’re not weak. I’ve seen you fight.” He chuckled slightly. “I even saw you throw that good for nothing miqo’te across the room.” She even laughed a little at the memory, and he walked on in quiet as she curled against him. 

The soothing sound of Apkallu Falls reached his ears, and he turned toward it. The place was deserted at this late hour, but close enough to the nicer side of Gridania to not have to worry about the more distasteful sorts that lurked at the far edges of the city. The air smelled of greenery and the waterfall’s spray. The sound always managed to soothe Pale’s soul, and he settled them at a bench near the pool that spread out at the bottom of the fall.

“I can put you down here, if you like.” Her fingers curled in his tunic and she shook her head even as she pressed her face against his shoulder. He sighed and settled her across his lap, allowing her to lean against him. He didn’t have the heart to deny her this night, not after what she’d been through. In truth, though, the smell of her alone—like a warm summer’s night— made him want to keep her close. They sat that way for a while, as he listened to her breathe and inhaled that intoxicating scent.

“I’m glad you found me when you did.”

His arms tightened around her. If he hadn’t… He didn’t want to think about that. He simply nodded.

“I heard them say I wouldn’t remember.”

He nodded again. “Most likely an effect of whatever they dosed you with.”

She sighed. “That’s a shame. I’d like to be able to remember this kindness.”

He shook his head. “It’s not necessary. Anyone would have done the same.”

“That’s not true.” 

He cleared his throat. “So, where do you want me to take you?” 

“Honestly? I want you to take me to bed.”

The way she said that made him pause. He looked down to see her staring up at him, cheeks flushed and lips parting. “Those drugs are really doing a number on you.”

A sultry laugh rose from her throat. “It’s not the drugs, I assure you.”

He looked away as he felt his cheeks beginning to heat. “But really, where should I take you? Do you have a home here? Should I take you to the Archer’s Guild?”

She shook her head. “No! Don’t take me to the guild. I don’t want anyone seeing me like this."

He sighed. “Where then? I can’t exactly take you back to the barracks with me.”

“Just an inn somewhere. I’ll pay.”

“Fine, just don’t get any ideas.”

The woman in his arms giggled as he shifted her weight and stood. “Oh, I’ve  _ had _ ideas.”

He shook his head. “Just don’t give  _ me _ any.”

****************

She’d given him ideas. Thankfully, the drug had lulled her into a sort of half sleep by the time he’d gotten her to an inn room, but gods, the things she’d whispered to him on the way there… He’d left her in the care of one of the maids at the inn, and made a hasty retreat. A quick trip to the barracks healer earned him a lecture on fighting, but soothed the pain in his aching hand. He was finally back though, and another late night shower was in order. 

He stripped and quickly turned on the tap. As the water warmed and he soaped himself down, his mind went back to the whispered promises she’d made but couldn’t possibly fulfill, not that he would have taken her up on any of them in her impaired state. Still, he could imagine those ruby lips curling around his cock. He braced himself against the wall, leaning heavily on his forearm as he bowed his head under the stream of hot water, and, for the second night in a row, gave himself over to his imagination and his own paltry comforts. He swore he could still smell her and feel her breath against his ear as she whispered of the things she would do to thank him. He let out a shaky breath as he came. Though his self-gratification wasn’t nearly as satisfying as being with a partner, it would at least be enough to let him sleep for whatever was left of this night.

He rinsed and dried himself, stepping into a pair of soft linen trousers, and made his way to his corner bunk in the barracks. As he sunk down into the mattress, a small shadow made its way over to his cot and jumped up beside him.

Pale reached out, scratching a soft grey cheek, and smiled as the kitten purred. “I saw her again, Lottie.” He sighed as the kitten leaned into his hand. “How am I supposed to feel about that?”

Lottie gave a little mew as Pale turned to his side. He put his finger to his lips, giving a soft “Shhh” though he knew the kitten couldn’t possibly understand him. Still, she quieted, stamping her feet on the mattress for a bit before curling up beside him. “I wish I knew what to do.” 

Lottie gave a quiet trill in answer, and Pale stroked her fur as sleep finally overtook him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to converse, conspire, and collaborate with fellow FFXIV writers and artists, check out  
> [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/8C6ZKTj)
> 
> [Chapter Title and Inspiration playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLeP6w042RhSMosRqBu47vhRqsqb93IFC2)


	5. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graduation finally arrives and the winds of change are in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to HawkSong for helping with screenshots and providing dialogue for her original character, Nightbird!  
> You can see more of her work here: [HawkSong](/users/HawkSong/)

_"Couerl! Cat girl! Really makes me wanna hurl!" The children chanted and chanted._

_Her ears flattened to her head as a vicious growl rose in her small chest. The other children circled round and her tail puffed in fear. A rock struck her arm and she hissed—a wild, feral sound, even to her ears._

_The children squealed in horror and delight. “Maybe she’s part viper!”_

_The little girl squeezed her eyes shut against the tears. “I am not! I’m a miqo’te!” Her voice wavered despite her best effort to be brave._

_“You’re not like us,_ tas-k’tasza _!”_

_“Bad luck! Bad luck!”_

_“Mom says she’s a throwback! More animal than miqo’te!”_

_“Go live with the beast tribes, animal!”_

_The girl began to cry. She only wanted to play with the other children. Why did she have to be different?! The sound of small running feet caught her ear, and suddenly she was wrapped in a hug._

_A small male voice cried out, “Leave my sister alone!”_

_She heard the rocks hit his back, and her sobs came harder. She really was bad luck._

_*****************_

Felina woke with a start to a room she didn't recognize. Her head pounded and a moment of panic washed over her as she realized she had no memory of the preceding night past a walk to an unknown tavern. What happened?! Did she sleep with someone? She scanned her body for tell tale aches but knew it would be difficult to differentiate from Kam's previous attentions unless someone had been rough with her. She frowned as tears started to well in her eyes. It wasn't like her not to remember even if she had gotten pretty drunk. She finally noticed a piece of parchment folded like a tent on the bedside table and grabbed it up.

_Please don't be afraid. You are safe. You encountered a pair of men who saw fit to drug you. For a mercy, I found you before any harm could come to you and brought you here. I don't know why you were alone on that side of the city, but please, take care of yourself._

No signature. Felina sighed and searched her memory. No images, no sounds, just a feeling. Someone held her. She'd felt warm and secure, but past that her memory dissolved into black. She looked down at the letter in her hand and knew it to be true. She'd been reckless—stupid—and someone had intervened. She only wished she knew who.

She swung her bare feet onto the floor and padded over to the chair in the corner. Her boots were placed side by side together with her cloak—Kam's cloak—folded neatly over the back. She tugged on her boots, settled the cloak back around her shoulders and headed out the door.

***************

By the gods, how did he manage to sleep so late?! If it weren’t for another straggler running back to the barracks to change into his dress greens, Pale might not have even known the graduation ceremony had been called. He couldn’t say he was surprised. Duskwights were rarely treated with much respect in Gridania, often the subject of suspicion and mistrust—little better than common criminals. Truthfully, in his time here, he’d made little effort to disavow others of those notions, and he’d made no effort to make friends. He hadn’t planned to be here so long, but here he was with a lance in hand and still treading water as far as his future was concerned.

He jogged up to the Twin Adder’s training arena, and a guard waived him in. 

“You’d better hurry. They’re starting soon.”

Of course they were. Dusk was falling already. He sighed and headed inside. The arena floor was packed with graduates in dress uniforms—the conjurers in flowing dark blue robes with their flowering wands, the archers in soft tan and red leathers with the elegant curve of their bows against their backs, and the lancers in hard brown and green leather standing at attention with their lances clasped before them. It was quite a spectacle, with crowds of family and well wishers lining the stands. Pale found a spot on the back row of lancers and planted his lance at attention. From the side he heard the quiet snickering of a few rival lancers, but he refused to grant them the pleasure of even a glance their way.

Before long magical lighting flared to life around the arena, beating back the encroaching darkness. The Grand Serpent Marshal stood and began speaking, droning on about pride and success and some other nonsense. Pale wasn’t particularly interested in all the ceremony and instead found himself scanning the rows of archers for a blonde head. She must have been up front, being as short as she was. The elezen making up the back rows all but obscured the front though, and he couldn’t manage to catch sight of her.

Thankfully, the Grand Marshal’s speech didn’t last as long as it could have, and the ceremony had moved into squad assignments and commendations. Healers and damage dealers were called up to the stage to join front line fighters from other city-states and then sent to stand at the back as the unassigned stepped forward to fill the gaps left behind. Pale found himself strangely amused at how an entire city-state had to import fighters from others just to fill its ranks. He couldn’t fathom why Gridania had no major defensive fighter guilds of their own. Perhaps the forests did not lend themselves as well to such tactics. 

He continued his musings, stepping forward and forward and forward again. After a time he spied that blond head as the elezen women behind her were assigned. Occasionally a black mage from Uldah or an arcanist from Limsa Lominsa would be assigned from the rather motley gathering of non-Gridanian fighters at the side of the arena. These were almost always special request soldiers exchanged between the city-states to fill gaps in the others’ defensive and offensive capabilities. 

He saw the blond miqo’te glance over at the group and smile. He followed her gaze and caught sight of the hyur who had scooped her up that night they’d returned from Tam Tara. He carried a pair of wicked looking daggers on his hip. Clearly they had requested to be assigned to the same squad and were only waiting for it to be made official. Perhaps it was already done and only needed the Grand Marshal to announce it at this point. The thought gave him a twinge of disappointment that he quickly shoved to the back of his mind as he took another step forward. 

The ranks had thinned significantly at this point with groups of squadrons forming the majority of the arena floor at this point. He’d made it to the front now, along with the other lancers who were set to go to Ishgard for further training as dragoons. So this was it, then. Despite it all, they were sending him to Ishgard, the last place in the world he wanted to be, doing the last thing he wanted to do. The realization left a bitter taste in his mouth as his hands tightened on his lance. 

The next squadron was called up. “Denmali Hadston, Gleaming Ash, P’taanah Tia, and Kam Rivers.”

Pale caught the look of surprise on Felina’s face and glanced over to see a look of disbelief on the rogue’s face. After a moment, he went up to the stage to join his newly formed squad and exited the other side to join the crowd of assigned squads. 

“And we have two special squadrons to present tonight.” The Grand Marshal continued. “The first has earned the distinct honor of being allowed to train with the dragoons of Ishgard. As you know, this sort of honor is rare, indeed, and we are very proud of these graduates. Come forward future dragoons, Antoile Gabbeaux, Benton Chandler, Gautier Deloge, and Heloise Jossart.”

Pale waited for his name to be called, but it never came. Did they forget him? As the squad exited the stage, the fair-skinned Roegadyn he remembered greeting Felina stepped on stage, a large battle axe leaned casually against a broad shoulder. 

“And finally, we would like to present the graduates who will make up our final squad. These individuals have not only excelled, but broken new ground in their respective fields of combat. May I present this graduating class’s elite squadron. Glass Willow, Nightbird K’vala, Felina Silverleaf, and Pale Keles!”

Did he hear correctly? He looked over at the miqo’te woman who stared back, as stunned as he felt. At her darker miqo’te friend’s beckoning, she climbed the steps to the stage, and he followed, not quite sure how to feel. He was a dragoon, but he wasn’t going to Ishgard. He was staying in Gridania with this strange, irritating, fascinating miqo’te woman, and by her expression, his very presence ruined her plans as surely as his own awakening had ruined his own. The applause rising from the stands and the arena floor faded into static. The only thing he truly registered in that moment was the tension in her eyes as she swallowed and smiled for the crowd—that and the whiteness of her knuckles clenched at her side.

*******************

How could this happen?! The moment Kam was called to stage she lost her breath as panic threatened to set in. _Breathe! Breathe!_ She put on her best performer’s smile, she was a bard now after all. What was she going to do? She felt Nightbird’s hand on her arm urging her to follow her off the stage. She followed without really registering the rest of the proceedings. At some point the ceremony wrapped up as Kan-E-Senna said a few words of congratulations. And then suddenly the crowds were dispersing, some leaving and some crowding around her and the others to offer their congratulations. She thought she’d smother. The tall elezen stood staring over her. She just wanted to punch him. Shove him. Scream that it should have been Kam in his place. 

“Are you okay?” Pale asked.

She shot him a hateful look and turned to Nightbird and Glass Willow. “I need some air. Now.”

Glass grabbed her by the arm while Nightbird took her other. “Coming though!” the Roegadyn woman bellowed as she forced her way through the crowd to the exit. “Make way! Make way!”

They managed to make it outside after dodging more well wishers as Nightbird made apologies and promises to speak at a later time. Kam managed to find them not long after they made their exit. 

“Do you still have that room?”

He nodded. “I had a feeling you might want to get away from the crowds.”

“Please, let’s go.” He and Glass started toward the Carline Canopy, but Nightbird stopped them short. 

“Hey, I’m going to find our…” She sighed. “Our new companion. We lost him in the crowd back there. You guys go on ahead. I’ll catch up with you later.”

Kam and Glass nodded as Felina started quickly toward the Canopy. 

Nightbird sighed. _What a mess._

********************

It wasn’t hard to find the elezen with his white head poking up above the crowd. Nightbird waved him down as he made his way through throngs of graduates. He made it over to her, looking somehow both irritated and relieved. 

“Pale, is it?”

He nodded. “Where are the other two?”

“They’ve retired to someplace more private for the time being. Let's just say they would not welcome our company at this time."

He frowned. “I gathered as much from the look she gave me. Seems I’ve come between her and her lover with my appointment to your previously merry little band.”

Nightbird raised an eyebrow at the rancor in his voice. “It’s a bit more complicated than that, but I admit, you’re not far from wrong.” As he crossed his arms she noted the swelling in his hand. “Did you get in a fist fight?”

The question seemed to catch him off guard. His eyes narrowed and he looked away. “It’s none of your business.”

Nightbird gave a short huff. “It most certainly is. In case you didn’t hear, I’m your healer now, so give me your hand.”

Her authoritative tone made him pause. He seemed to roll the thought over in his mind, and finally, he held out his hand. The dark miqo’te took it gingerly in her own, turning it over as she inspected it. She ran her thumb over the back and, finding a suspect spot, pressed down. Air hissed between his teeth as pain shot through his hand. “As I suspected, a brawler’s fracture—hm, and less than a day old by the look.”

“I had the healer take care of it last night,” he complained.

Nightbird shook her head. “Something like this is going to need more than a once over. Come with me.” Her tone brooked no argument, and while the elezen sighed, he followed her without a word. “I wanted a chance to talk with you anyway.”

Pale fell into step beside her. “So what’s the deal with her and that guy?”

The miqo’te gave a halfhearted smile. “It really is complicated. Felina is my very dear friend, and Kam, in his turn, is Felina's dear friend as well—of another stripe." She lifted her shoulders in a small shrug. "Kam fills a very... specific need for her, and in so doing keeps her safer than she might be without his aid."

Pale raised an eyebrow. “So, she needs him? What? To warm her bed?”

Nightbird gave him a withering look. "You have not the right to judge her for such choices; most especially not when you do not know the complications that brought her to this point in her life. If you would work with us, you would do well to keep such assumptions to yourself. They are friends, and that is enough for you to know for now. Until Felina decides she wishes to tell you more." Then she took a deep breath. "My apologies, that was a bit too harsh. Felina is… a very special friend to me."

“It's fine. It's not my business anyway.”

Nightbird pulled him toward a bench tucked away in a small alcove away from the path and gestured for him to sit. "For now, let's just say she's… unique." His expression became thoughtful as he settled himself and allowed her to see to his injured hand.

He huffed. “Strange is more like it. She went from being a complete brat to…” He went quiet and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

Nightbird paused in her inspection. “No. Wait. I would hear your thoughts. I realize my friend is somewhat of an odd duck. You can speak candidly and be assured whatever you say will remain between us.”

Pale eyed her as if sizing up the small miqo’te’s trustworthiness. Finally, his shoulders relaxed, and he let out a sigh. “Does she always run so hot and cold?”

She smiled at the frustrated elezen. “Not always. She does have her moments though. You’ve caught her at one of her more turbulent times, I’m afraid.”

“Ah. Wonderful.” He said sarcastically. Without a thought, his other hand rose instinctively to rub the back of his neck. “So, does she always wear that perfume? I thought it odd she should wear any at all on a mission, much less _that_ one.”

Nightbird's ears twitched toward him. “Perfume?”

His ears began to pink, and he looked down. “Actually, just forget I said anything.”

“No, no. Wait. You caught her in the Deepcroft didn’t you? And you carried her out of there. Tell me, did you feel anything while you had her so close to you?”

His eyes widened briefly and he looked away, frowning. “No! What sort of ridiculous question is that?”

Nightbird grabbed his chin and turned his head to look her directly in the eyes. “Don’t bother to lie to me, tall one. This perfume you mentioned, it was more of an almost-scent, was it not? Describe it.”

He was at a loss. There was no use trying to deny it at this point. He swallowed. “Moonlight.”

She blinked. “Moonlight?”

“On a warm summer night.”

Her eyes widened. “My, my... You certainly do wax lyrical for a man who barely knows her. Most people say her pheromones smell of ‘flowers.’”

Pale glowered as he pulled away from her grasp, looking at her questioningly. “Pheromones? Mind enlightening me, Ms. Academic?”

She looked up at him with mild irritation. “Miqo'te produce them during estrus. They’re quite effective at attracting mates.” She glanced up at him with a taunting smile but focused back on his hand as the elezen shifted uncomfortably in the wake of his newfound knowledge. She hummed to herself as she started channeling healing magic into the fractured bone. “You know, you should probably hit them in the body, not the jaw."

Pale growled even as the pain in his hand abated. "Yes, I figured that out the hard way."

She allowed herself a small laugh. “Well, lancers are hardly taught hand to hand in quite the way archers are."

"Oh? And what would you know of archer training?"

She shrugged. "I know it as well as Felina does, since I was right beside her in our classes."

Pale gave a short ‘hmph’. "Oh I see. An overachiever, are you?"

Her back went stiff at his words. Her amber eyes glittered as she stared up at him. "I have not achieved _half_ of what I should have. Don't you _dare_ mock me."

Pale's eyes narrowed, and his lips turned down into a scowl. "At least _you_ were afforded another option, miqo'te." He pulled back his hand and stood abruptly.

Nightbird's ears flattened to her head, but her hand went out towards him. "Wait." She took a long breath and shook her head. "I - I must apologize once more. You could not know of the way I have been treated in the past. And clearly, I know just as little about you as you know about me."

She looked up at him, solemnly. "We are assigned to work together. We cannot change that, not for some time. We would be far better off if we gave each other - and ourselves - a chance to try being comrades." Her ears flicked forward, then back again, and her tail made an S curve, behind her back.

Pale frowned deeply but eventually let out a breath. "Fine. I think your friend may need more convincing though."

Nightbird let out her own sigh. “On that, you and I both agree.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again thanks to HawkSong for use of her original character, Nightbird!  
> You can see more of her work here: [HawkSong](/users/HawkSong/)
> 
> If you'd like to converse, conspire, and collaborate with fellow FFXIV writers and artists, check out  
> [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/8C6ZKTj)
> 
> [Chapter Title and Inspiration playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLeP6w042RhSMosRqBu47vhRqsqb93IFC2)


	6. Grievance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faced with a new companion and a status quo, Felina and company begin their first, very important mission.  
> Felina has a lot to think about and even less to say... or does she?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to a most generous HawkSong for allowing me the use of her character, Nightbird.  
> You can see more of her work here: [HawkSong](/users/HawkSong/)

Felina buried her head in the crook of her folded arms. The cool surface of the suite’s table did little to soothe her feelings, but it served well enough to block out the world around her. A world with little sympathy and even less fairness. 

Glass Willow pulled a chair up beside her, turning it about and straddling it as she smoothed her calloused hand in small circles across Felina’s back. The roegadyn woman had a way of soothing her that reminded her of her mother. Felina let out a long breath and let the feeling seep down into her troubled soul.

“Everythin’s going to be alright, Lina. We’ll figure something out.” Felina turned her head, peeking open an eye to see the roe smiling down, her clear amethyst eyes kind and consoling. For a moment she truly believed her, and a faint smile finally tugged at the corner of her mouth. 

She had always wondered at roegadyn naming conventions. To this day she never really understood them as they rarely seemed to make much sense or really represent the person very accurately. Glass Willow was an exception, though. Blue hair streaked with sea-foam green and white skin as clear and luminous as her soft violet eyes. She reminded Felina of a stained glass window come to life. In addition, she was an exceptional warrior who managed to be as graceful on the battlefield as a willow bending with the wind.

“Still, though. What am I going to do?”

Kam slipped through the door at about that time. “I brought us something.” He set a couple of steaming mugs down in front of Felina and Glass before settling into the chair on the other side of her.

Felina straightened and raised the mug to her lips. Hot cocoa. Dammit if he didn’t know exactly what she needed. She took a long drink of the rich, sweet concoction before setting her cup down with a sigh. “So, what now?”

Kam peered at her over his own mug. “Well, there’s nothing stopping us from meeting up here once a month.”

“Ah- yeah, there is. What if we’re in the field or on assignment? Either one of us? We can’t just come skipping back to Gridania for a tumble. ‘Oh sorry, guys! I’m gonna have to leave to go have lots of sex! Bye!’”

He shrugged. “Ok well, why don’t you just tell the higher ups what happens to you? I’m sure they’ll grant you a dispensation.”

“And risk being blackballed by every miqo’te officer in the Adders and pitied by the rest? No!” She smacked the table in frustration, and Glass Willow hastily grabbed up her own shaking mug. “On top of that being the most mortifying conversation I could ever dream of, I’d never be trusted with an important mission and neither would any squad I happen to be with. I’m not handicapping my career as well as my squad’s because of my stupid fucking heat!”

Kam raised his hands with a wince. “Ok, ok! Bad idea! I see that now.”

“Hmmm…” Glass Willow leaned her cheek on her fist as she regarded the rich brown liquid in her mug. “What about stronger remedies? Or more?”

Felina sighed. “I’ve tried that before, and while it works to an extent, it mostly just makes me sick. Not to mention, I’ve been having a lot of trouble predicting when these things are going to hit. Like when I was in the Deepcroft. I think it started sometime while we were fighting the cultists, and since we were down there so long, I was far too late getting my last potion.”

Glass regarded her. “After what you told us of the fight, I don’t know that it wasn’ a blessing in disguise this time around. Could you ‘ave made those crazy maneuvers otherwise? With no training?”

Felina had thought about that. The heat just made her _more_ when it took hold of her. Faster, stronger, more agile. That and her heightened senses probably played a larger part in that fight than she wanted to admit. “Perhaps not. But I was little more than an idiot by the time we escaped. I was already coming onto the elezen before we even left the place.” She cringed at the memory of how she’d caressed his cheek when they were alone on the cavern floor.

Kam slid his fingers gingerly over her own. “Hey, we’re just glad you made it out. That’s all that matters.” His warmth and the softness of his gaze brought on a twinge of sentimentality, and she turned her hand to curl her fingers around his.

A glint sprang to the roegadyn woman’s eyes as she cocked her head to the side. “Does it ‘ave to be a man?” When Felina looked her way, she wiggled her eyebrows.

“Oh no! We are _not_ going there!”

“Come on, mate! Why’s Kam get to have all the fun?” The sparkle of humor in her smile seemed to infect Felina, and she laughed, despite herself.

“Kam is the first and last close friend I ever intend to sleep with, ok?”

The warrior howled with laughter. “Fine, fine! But you can’t blame me for tryin’, can you?”

Felina chuckled and shook her head. “I can, and I do. You are incorrigible.”

“Well, you know…” She leaned in conspiratorially. “You _could_ ask our new elezen companion.” 

Kam’s fingers tightened on her own before he could manage to hide his reaction. Surely he knew she wouldn’t... 

“Oh, now you really _have_ lost your mind.”

Glass Willow grinned. “So, can I ‘ave at him then?”

“Great Nophica’s tits, why would I care?! Please take him! Just the thought of being with an elezen is terrifying!”

She laughed incredulously. “What?! Why?”

“You’ve seen how big those guys are, right?! I mean, maybe not to you, but a guy like that would crush me!”

The warrior snickered. “I don’ know about all that, but I do forget you tend to favor the shorties.” 

“Hey!” Kam protested.

Even Felina had to laugh, and she reached over to ruffle Kam’s hair. “Awww, don’t you listen to her, Kam. You’re still taller than me… barely.”

Kam managed a sideways grin at the giggling women. “You two are awful.”

* * *

Nightbird finished wrapping Pale’s hand. “Now, try not to get this wet. If you need a shower, you can remove it, just be careful and re-wrap it the way I showed you.” She handed him an extra roll of stretchy bandaging. “All of this needs to stay fairly stable if it’s to heal as it should. I’ll do a bit of healing on it each evening to help things along as well.”

Pale let out a sigh. “Thank you.”

The small miqo’te smiled. “Think nothing of it. If I might ask, what led you to get into such a fight in the first place?”

The elezen cast his gaze downward. “I’d rather not say.”

Nightbird eyed him for a moment before deciding not to press the matter. “Very well, just try not to get in any more scuffles.” 

He nodded in response and let out a large yawn.

“Ah, I see the magic’s already doing its job. It will make your body work harder to heal the bone, and as such, you will be more tired and hungry. Be sure to eat plenty and get as much rest as you can manage.”

“Can’t you just heal it all at once?”

She shrugged. “If you fancy a bout of cardiac arrest or system shock, sure.” She grinned, clasping her hands in front of herself. “But I’d rather not do that. Healing magic has its limits. Over time you will gain some resistance to the negative effects of more potent healing, but that takes time… and lots of injuries.”

“Hm. Well, it seems I’m getting a head start at least.” He was quiet for a moment as he ran his hand over the stabilizing wrap. “I was wondering… since I was exposed to Felina’s…”

“You can just call it scent. Pheromones aren’t a well known term, I admit.”

“Right. So her scent… Will I always feel…”

Nightbird gave him a conciliatory pat on the shoulder. “Oh now, don’t worry. You’re not in love. I promise.” She laughed as he looked away, his jaw visibly tightening and his ears turning a rosy pink. “The effects should only last about a day. You shouldn’t be affected by now since you haven’t been near her since the Deepcroft incident.”

Pale absently rubbed at his arm as he cleared his throat. “Right… So, am I going to need to worry about you as well?”

Nightbird let out a surprised chuckle. “No. Miqo’te generally only affect other miqo’te, and we have suppressive remedies to take besides.” At Pale’s confused expression, she continued. “I told you she’s a special case. Miqo’te like her are quite rare and subject to a lot of superstition.”

“I see…”

“And it seems you also drew the biological short straw, as it were. Not many elezen are affected by her scent, that I can tell.”

“Great.” It was all he could manage to say. His mind and body both seemed leaden with the weight of information given to him. 

His weariness did not escape Nighbird’s notice. “You should grab some meat or cheese from the mess back at your guildhall and get some rest.”

He nodded, too tired to argue. “I’ll do that.” He hauled himself up from his seat and started back towards the Lancer’s Guild. 

Nightbird sighed as she watched him go. This really was a mess.

* * *

The late morning sun streamed through the inn windows with Kam curled against her back, his arm tucked around her. The familiarity of his closeness was at once comforting and frustrating. She could never be what he wanted. What he needed. She only wished he could understand that. 

When Glass Willow had left, Felina stayed behind to apologize for the way she’d stormed out the night before. She had refused to tell him what had happened that evening, not wanting to worry him, and before another argument could begin, she found herself kissing him, hoping to distract him from his present line of questioning. While things had progressed as she had intended, she still felt guilty about using such means just to avoid answering him.

She felt him shift into a languid stretch against her, burying his face in her hair. “Mornin’ Little Lina.”

She smiled at the nickname, despite herself. Kam could be incredibly cute in the mornings. She turned over to face him, running her fingers through his ruddy locks. “Mornin’ Kammy Kam.” 

He chuckled, his voice still heavy with sleep. “Mmmmm…. I’m gonna miss waking up this way.”

Felina rubbed his exposed shoulder. “This isn’t the last time, Kam. It just may be a bit longer between times for a while. Just until we get out from under these guild contracts. Then we can make our own group and do whatever we want.”

Kam smiled, his eyes wistful. “I can’t wait.”

She squeezed his arm. “Come on. We get our assignments today, and from the look of the sun, we’d probably better head on.”

He sighed. “Okay.” He leaned close, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. “Let’s go.”

* * *

“Message deliveries?!” Felina stood, palms up as she faced the grand company officer. “We were literally named the elite squad of our graduating class, and we’re being assigned to _message deliveries_? But why?!” 

The officer looked up at her over her glasses. “It has come to our attention that one of your squad members has a broken hand, so we cannot ethically send you out on a mission in which you may need to fight.”

Felina whipped around to drag her gaze across her squadron. Glass held her hands up and Nightbird shrugged. Her gaze finally came to rest on Pale and his bandaged hand. “You! What did you do?!”

Before he could reply, the officer spoke. “Fighting, apparently.” 

Felina glared, her fingers curling into fists. “Oh really?”

The officer nodded as she pinned the elezen with a stare. “Which we do not condone, mind you. You should be aware that your behavior reflects poorly on your fellow duskwights. Try not to cause more trouble.”

Pale folded his arms as his mouth pressed into a hard line, but he did not reply.

Felina turned, pleading with the stern officer. “Can’t you just send him to be the messenger boy since he did this to himself?” 

“You’re a squadron now. You take your successes and your failures together.”

Felina’s shoulders slumped as she sighed. “Ok. So, where are we going?”

“You will be headed to Ul’dah.” The officer handed over a plain lidded box. “The letters inside are separated out by messenger to keep you all from running from one end of the city to the other. The Adders will issue you each a chocobo. Pack your things and head out as soon as you’re able. Dismissed.” 

* * *

The ride out from Gridania had been mostly quiet aside from the roegadyn woman trying her best to “get to know him.” He’d had little to say on the matter and while the roe seemed mildly disappointed, she nevertheless was not dissuaded. Even now she prodded him with questions of no import that he answered with even less interest. 

The fire crackled across the way as Felina stirred the cook pot. She had pointedly ignored him from the beginning of the journey, choosing to ride forward, only occasionally slowing to speak to Nightbird. Now she cut unfriendly glances his way while still refusing to completely acknowledge his presence. Perhaps it was the unusual lethargy and hunger brought on by Nightbird’s healing magic, but the way the little blonde shunned him was wearing on his last nerve. He couldn’t imagine what it was he saw in her before. 

As Nightbird finished wrapping his hand he peered over at the bard. “Do I need to find her a box to sulk in?”

The dark miqo’te stiffened as she secured the cloth around his wrist. “That might not be the best thing to s-”

“I heard that!” Felina looked up from the cook pot. She dropped the spoon into the bubbling liquid as she stood. “You’ve got one chance to explain that remark to my satisfaction.”

He met her hot gaze with his own icy intensity. “Or what, cat girl?”

Her tail began to twitch behind her. “Or we’re gonna have a problem, long ears.”

“Ah, so nothing will change. I see no need to elaborate, then.”

Felina bristled. “You’ve got a lot of nerve, elezen. You haven’t said one word of apology for fighting and setting us back.”

“And I’m not going to.” he said, smoothing his hand over the bandaging.

“Say that again!”

He leveled a cool stare at her. “I’m _not_ sorry for what I did, and I’m _not_ going to apologize for it.”

“Oh, I see. You’re the exact same asshole you were from the moment I met you!”

“And you’re nothing but an ungrateful brat.”

“What? Because you rescued me that one time? In case you don’t remember, I saved your life too when _my fucking voice_ awakened you, and told you to leap, so I think that makes us even.”

“Even? You have _no_ idea!” He opened his mouth as if to continue but then closed it. “I would have been better off in Ishgard.”

“Then why didn’t you just go to Ishgard?!”

He found himself on his feet, leaning in toward the furious blonde. “It wasn’t my call to make!”

An audible growl swelled in Felina’s chest, one that made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. “Well you at least didn’t have to request it!”

“What-” His eyes widened as she stormed up to him, clasping her hands in mock supplication.

_“Please! Let me stay with her!”_

Pale took a step back as his own words echoed back to him. His mouth dropped open, but no words would come to him.

“That’s right. Kam told me all about that interview of yours.” Her growl rumbled her words, making her sound almost beastial. 

He refused to be intimidated quite so easily, even if he could feel his pulse in his throat. “So nice of your jealous little fuck boy to feed you confidential information. From the sound of things, the Twin Adders found more use for him as a spy than as your partner.”

“Oh, and you’re somehow better?!”

“Apparently. If you recall, I wasn’t the only one to have an awakening in the depths of Tam Tara. In any case, try not to flatter yourself too much. It was either you or an even more distasteful prospect. It was hardly a choice.”

“And what other choice might that be?”

Pale glared, gritting his teeth. “Why don’t you ask your little boy toy? I’m sure he’d love to dig up dirt on _me_.” He turned and stormed over to his chocobo to unload his bedroll as the miqo’te fumed. 

“You’re nothing but a fucking asshole!”

He didn’t even bother to turn around. Hunger gnawed at the pit of his stomach, but sleep called him far more despite his anger. “So I’ve heard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks go out to HawkSong for allowing me the use of her character, Nightbird.  
> You can see more of her work here: [HawkSong](/users/HawkSong/)
> 
> If you'd like to converse, conspire, and collaborate with fellow FFXIV writers and artists, check out  
> [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/8C6ZKTj)
> 
> [Chapter Title and Inspiration playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLeP6w042RhSMosRqBu47vhRqsqb93IFC2)


	7. In Da Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions within the party continue to rise. Time to let off some steam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks go out to HawkSong for collaborating and allowing me the use of her character, Nightbird.  
> You can see more of her work here: [HawkSong](/users/HawkSong/)

The next day’s ride was tense and quiet, but they made good time, reaching Horizon by mid afternoon. While Felina and Glass Willow explored the small town, Nightbird sought out inn rooms. Pale quickly handed the dark miqo’te his share of the gil and steered his chocobo to the far gate. The bird seemed to be able to feel his tension, and once past the gates, he let the bird run as it liked. He breathed deep of the soothing desert wind as it rushed past and closed his eyes as he leaned into the chocobo’s sprint. It almost felt like flying and yet still nothing like the exhilaration he felt when he lept. The bird whistled happily before making a halt and beating its wings and ruffling its feathers in elation. 

Pale opened his eyes and they stood at the edge of a small cliffside that overlooked a verdant oasis in the desert. The sun had already begun its descent towards the horizon, spreading brilliant orange rays throughout the western sky. He swung down off the chocobo, patting its neck as it trilled. 

“Good girl.” He led the bird over to a hitch setup by the stairs winding down into the basin, and it immediately began preening. He smiled. “I’ve never seen a bird preen quite so much. I think I’ll call you Lainie.” The bird chattered as if in reply, and Pale chuckled and patted the bird before finding a spot on the cliffside to settle in and watch the sunset. 

He swung his legs over the edge and gazed down knowing if he fell he could land safely. It was a strange thought, the fact that he could leap and land as a dragoon when he’d only ever _seen_ them in action. He looked up at the sky as he lost himself in thought. He’d never wanted to be a dragoon, but now… The pulse of power that surged through him as he left the ground behind… the thrill of flight as the wind rushed past him… As if in answer to his thoughts a breeze surged up from the basin below, ruffling his hair. 

He had Felina to thank for his awakening, and the thought of it galled him. He looked down at his hand. It was beginning to ache as the time grew closer for his next treatment—a reminder of what he’d done and how he’d felt as he’d breathed in her scent. A lie. A trick of the mind overcoming his natural inclination to keep people at a distance. He should have known. She was a miqo’te after all, and he’d never spared one so much as a glance before. He felt like an idiot, and yet he would have done it all over again. It was the right thing to do. His father would laugh. 

A noise from behind caught his attention, and he turned right as the dark miqo’te dismounted. “Hm. I see I wasn’t the only one who needed an escape.” 

Nightbird's ears wiggled in an odd looking dance, rotating back, then forward, then back again. But she shrugged, her voice neutral as she answered him. 

"This place is sacred to Nophica. I intend to go below, and visit the shrine of the Well." She eyed him, seeming wary. "If you wish to wait, I can deal your hand when I return." 

He wasn't sure what to make of her body language as unfamiliar as he was with miqo'te, but he got the idea she'd rather not have him join her, which was more than fine by him. The sun's rays from his perch were too spectacular to miss for some pools of water below. "I'll be here." 

Her ears perked forward, and she nodded once, then passed by him without another word. 

As the sun set below the horizon, a languid, haunting tune rose from the Well below, blessing the dying rays with a hint of the sacred. 

  


* * *

  


He could see her coming back up the steps. She moved more slowly than she had when descending, but it wasn't as if she were tired. When she was close enough for Pale to make out her features, it was clear that Nightbird was deep in thought. 

"I heard the music you were playing down there. It was quite nice." 

She looked at him with surprise, blinking a few times. "Thank you." Then, she closed the distance between them, coming to settle on the edge beside him. "Hand, please." 

He arched an eyebrow at her command but didn't argue and held out his hand. 

The routine had become familiar over the past days, enough that he could tell she was taking more care over unwrapping his hand than needed. He understood why when she began to talk. "It seems that we are yet to get used to treating each other as comrades. I cannot apologize for Felina's behavior, and I will not try… but if you would be willing to listen, I would tell you a thing." 

“Very well.” 

Her hands never stopped moving, and she seemed to barely see him as she thought for a moment. 

"Some years ago - before the Calamity, even before the red moon began to lower in our skies - there was a little girl. She was alone, this girl, with no family and no home. One day, she was brought to Gridania, knowing no one, unfamiliar with the people and the Shroud. Being small for her age, the other children sought her out—but not to play." 

She smoothed her fingers along his bones, and he felt and saw the healing aether soaking in. 

"The children were unkind, as children are wont to do, and the girl, not understanding them, was afraid." Her voice wavered on the last word, though her expression did not change at all."And then, another child appeared. And this new child stepped up beside the frightened one, taking her hand, and led them away to a quiet place.” 

Nightbird raised her eyes to his. “That small, frightened girl was me, and that day Felina took my hand, not to rescue me, but simply to be my friend.” 

"And that's why you are so fond of her, is it? A brave little soul to help you be brave as well? I've seen proof of her bravery in the Deepcroft. Foolhardy may be more like it-" He stopped short and sighted. "I am sorry. Perhaps it's more in my nature than I would like to be ungenerous. You've been very kind, but Felina... she strikes a nerve in me, apparently." 

"You are too much alike. Or so it seems from my vantage point." 

Pale blinked, taken aback. "I do not think so." 

"Both of you are bound and determined to prove everyone wrong about you. For vastly different reasons, I am sure," she let go of his hand, "but the stubbornness and the pride are both there. Stretch the hand, please, and tell me how that feels now." 

His brow creased, and he frowned at her words, but resolved not to argue for the moment. He flexed his fingers feeling a little more motion and less pain than the previous night. "It's getting better. It was starting to ache, but there is no pain now that you've done your work." 

Nightbird nodded. "Soon there ought to be a change - a kind of breakthrough, if you will. The pain should lessen significantly, but I cannot say if it will be a day, or three. Every person's aether, every person's body, is different, after all." 

She took up the bandage, and began to roll it up carefully, in preparation to wrap his hand once more. 

"To answer you," she said, her eyes on what she was doing, "Felina reached her hand out to me, yes, but her bravery is not what endears her to me. It is that she and I are also alike, and we have learned together in more than simple archery lessons. And I, most of all, have learned how to trust, for she has never betrayed me." 

Again those amber eyes fixed on his. "I feel that you, also, are someone to be trusted. I only wonder if you will ever do me the honor of trusting in return." 

She took his hand again and began to wrap it. "Every one of us has injuries, Pale." Her voice was gentler than her hands on his. "Our lives depend on trusting each other, now. Foes will not always attack us with mere sword and spell; a day will come when our hearts will be assailed, our belief in each other assaulted. I would have you at my back on that day, but it will not be so if you cannot find a way to trust us too." 

She finished the wrapping and secured the bandage. "Even Felina trusts you, despite her temper at this time." 

Pale was quiet for a while as he considered her words. "It is difficult to place your trust in someone who hates you just for being there. I've displaced her lover through no fault of my own. If we're to forge the trust you speak of, she will have to learn to put up with me and cope without her lover's _assistance_ , such as it is." He met Nightbird's gaze. "Make no mistake, I will not allow harm to come to my companions. You can trust me in a fight, but more than that is going to require some understanding on _her_ part." 

Nightbird cocked her head. "I assure you, she does not hate you. She is upset, yes. She expected Kam to be with us, yes. And she does not easily adjust to - shall we say, a sudden change of plans." Her voice firmed. "But she is well able to cope, as you put it, without him." 

Then, her gaze sharpened. "Why does it anger you so, that they were sometime lovers as well as friends?" 

"It doesn't. I am simply tired of her petulance." He looked away. "Believe it or not, I was glad to be assigned here instead of being sent to Ishgard. She was right. I did request to stay with h- with this group, that is until she decided to such a brat. Though on reflection, I wasn't exactly in my right mind when I made the request." 

Nightbird's eyebrows went up and she made a tiny "ah" of understanding. Then she reached out and patted his shoulder. 

"She never remains upset for long. Weather the storm, for now. Besides," she smiled suddenly, "you are not the only one who has grown a bit tired of her sour mood. I imagine Glass Willow is having a talk with her this very moment." 

"Hm. Good. Someone needs to." He stretched and picked himself up from the ground, stretching out his good hand to Nightbird. "Let us get back to Horizon. I don't know about you, but I need a meal.” 

She smiled as she accepted his hand. 

  


* * *

  


"Felina, we need to talk!" Glass Willow yelled. 

From across the tavern, the bard huffed and peeked around the hyurian she had been talking with.“This very moment?!” 

“Yes, this very moment!” 

Felina gave the man an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere!” She crossed the bar, leaning over the table at her friend. “What?!” 

"What is taking you so long?!” 

She tilted her head in the direction of the hyur. “He’s very possessive of that thing!” 

“The guitar?” 

“Yes the guitar!” Felina spread her fingers in frustration. “Those things are expensive, Glass. You don’t just hand one over to a complete stranger.” 

The roegadyn sighed. “Fine. Just hurry up, I am bored out of my mind here. And after that argument last night-” 

“That _Pale_ caused!” 

“That _you both_ caused!” She leaned forward, tapping her forefinger on the table to punctuate each word. “I am in serious need of an outlet. So please. Get with the music, Silverleaf.” 

“I’m _working_ on it, Willow. Five minutes, ok?” She turned and headed back toward her seat at the bar. About halfway there, she glanced back to see Glass watching her like a hawk mouthing the words “You owe me.” 

Felina made an unlovely face, miming the words back at her friend and then sticking out her tongue before turning back to the hyurian man with her most charming smile. 

  


* * *

  


As Pale and Nightbird approached the tavern, the sound of drunken cheers and whistles drifted out to them. Pale looked down at the dark miqo’te “What on earth is going on in there? It was quiet when we left.” 

Nightbird sighed. “I think I know. Come on.” As they entered, they were greeted with the sight of a fair roegadyn woman dancing on a table to the delight of several drunken patrons below. 

Pale’s eyebrows drew together as he watched. “I see that talk is going well.” He pointed to the blonde miqo’te bent over a guitar. She grinned as she strummed it in a fiery melody, adding tremolos and intricate fingerwork for flair. “Is that what Felina looks like when she’s been reprimanded?” 

“It shouldn’t be!” She quickly caught sight of a sullen man, looking as if he’d just bitten an unripe persimmon, sitting behind Felina. “And there’s the man she conned into handing her his guitar.” 

The crowd cheered again as the roe added to the guitar’s rhythm with her boots. The elezen might have even been impressed if he weren’t so hungry and tired. He leaned down to the fuming miqo’te at his side, yelling over the noise. “You sound disturbingly familiar with the present scenario.” 

Nightbird’s ears flattened. “I swear, I am going to knock their heads together.” She charged forward, tail bristling. “Glass Willow, we talked about this!!” 

“What?!” The roe yelled down at her with a flourish of her hands and a roll of her hips. “This is recompense for the tense atmosphere I’ve- we’ve had to deal with all day!” 

“You two are impossible!” 

Pale looked on, his eyes growing wide, as the tiny, dark miqo’te yelled up at the unrepentant roegadyn still dancing on the tabletop. From the other side of the tavern, Felina closed her eyes and trilled a jubilant grito as her song intensified. The man behind her folded his arms in open dismay and consternation at the small blonde he _must_ have thought he was wooing before she relieved him of the very instrument he’d thought to win her over with. 

A single hiccup of laughter jolted through him as he took in the absurd scene before him. He _needed_ to get out of there. He turned and quickly exited the building as his composure crumbled. What was this insanity? He stumbled and braced himself against the wall as delirious laughter robbed him of the last of his strength. 

Quick footsteps made their way over to him. “Are you quite alright? You made a rather hasty retreat back there.” 

He leaned back against the tavern’s outer wall as he blinked the water from his eyes to see Nightbird staring at him in hesitant concern. Hunger gnawed the pit of his stomach, his head ached, and all he wanted was to go straight to his bed. He let out a long sigh, dragging a hand through his loose hair as he stared up into the night sky. “Remind me again how long these guild contracts are for.” 

“A year and a day.” Nightbird answered quietly. 

Pale closed his eyes and simply laughed. 

  


* * *

  


The next day they arrived in Ul’dah, the shining jewel in the Thanalan desert. The size of the city with its hawkers and stalls, its hustle and bustle and throngs of people, made Gridania seem quaint by comparison. Felina had quickly passed out the bundles of messages, and the four of them split up to deliver their letters. 

As she made her way to the first address in her stack she thought back on the previous day. Pale still hadn’t apologized for setting the group back with his stupidity, and though he’d picked the fight that night at camp, she’d somehow ended up with the blame. Once they’d reached Horizon he’d quite rudely left the job of getting inn rooms to Nightbird and ran off on his own. Of course Nightbird trailed off after him like a puppy. Her friend had been practically glued to his side since she’d met him. Felina was starting to wonder if the dark miqo’te had an elezen fetish. 

She frowned to herself. She knew that wasn’t fair. Nightbird was their healer and as such was bound to look after anyone in the group who was injured. Still, it pissed her off to see the jerk getting doted upon by her best friend. 

She made it to her first delivery point and dropped off the letter, quickly asking for directions to her next destination. The person was kind enough to take a look at the stack with her. It seemed whoever had sorted out their message bundles was quite familiar with Ul’dah, with each delivery leading to the next with no backtracking. Felina smiled. She’d be done in no time. 

  


* * *

  


Felina stood outside the tavern. She’d just finished the last of her deliveries, having checked in at the Quicksand just long enough to change clothes and tell Nightbird and Glass where she was going. Her friends had declined her invitation, preferring to wait for Pale to return from his deliveries. She’d rolled her eyes and gone out without them. There was no telling how long he’d be. 

Her own deliveries had taken a good bit longer than she’d expected. Ul’dah was much bigger than any other city she’d ever been to. A twinge of guilt struck her, but she shoved the feeling to the back of her mind. She needed a drink. The tavern before her sounded extraordinarily loud and rowdy. It was said that certain bars in Ul’dah were among the wildest in Eorzea. 

As she walked through the doorway, her eyes widened. People whooped and hollered as music played hard and fast. A hyurain woman danced in the corner wearing only enough to cover the most private bits. The large room was mostly dark with pink and blue lights here and there to accent tables scattered about the place. The stage and the bar were about the only places with normal lighting, and even there the lights were kept low. The atmosphere was one of complete and utter debauchery. It was everything Felina hoped it would be. 

She spotted an open spot at the bar and danced her way over. As she hopped up on the barstool she waved a swarthy bartender over. 

“What can I get ya, lass?” 

She grinned. “Shots!” 

The barkeep laughed. “Startin’ off strong, I see! So what’s your poison?” 

“Hmmm… what’s good here? I’m in the mood to try something different.” 

The man on the stool beside her turned. “If I might be so bold, I highly recommend the tequila.” 

Felina raised an eyebrow but smiled. “I’ve actually never tried it, so that’s perfect!” 

The white haired man nodded to the bartender. “One for each of us.” He pulled a coin from his waist pouch and slid it over. “My treat.” 

The blonde miqo’te smiled. “Thanks. I’m Felina, and you are?” 

His hazel eyes lit with charm and an easy smile graced his lips. “Thancred. A pleasure.” 

“I think the pleasure’s mine.” She looked him up and down. He suited her a little too well. She leaned forward, her hand on her fist, and was pleased to see his gaze slip down to the low cut top she’d changed into just for this little excursion. He looked away, clearing his throat just as the bartender returned with their shots. 

She was surprised to see each shot glass decorated with a small wedge of lime. “I’ve never seen shots with a garnish.” 

Thancred laughed. “Those are actually quite integral to doing a proper tequila shot.” 

“Oh really?” 

“Yes, and this.” He reached over for a small dish of salt. “Allow me show you. Your hand, if you please.” 

She wasn’t sure what he meant to do, but she held out her hand, and he turned it, curling her fingers into a light fist with her thumb facing up. He plucked the lime from her shot glass and rubbed it on the pad of flesh between her thumb and forefinger. Taking a pinch of salt from the dish, he sprinkled a bit on the wet spot left behind by the lime. “To start, you’ll lick the salt.” 

She tilted her head and raised her brows as she pinned him with a dubious stare. 

He raised his hands. “I swear this is how it’s done!” 

She chuckled and shook her head. “Ok…” She brought her hand up and licked off the salt, tasting the hint of sour juice that adhered it to her skin. 

“Now, take the shot.” 

This part she was quite familiar with. She took the glass and knocked the amber liquid back. 

“Now bite.” He held out the lime wedge, and she leaned forward and took it straight from his grasp with her teeth. 

The burst of sour chasing the burn of the liquor mingling with the salt… it was magic. “Mmmm… Ahhh!” She nearly shouted as she shook her head, slamming the small glass down. “Wooo!” 

The hyurian man chuckled. “So, tell me how you really feel about your first tequila shot.” 

“Another!” She slapped the top of the bar for emphasis. 

He burst out laughing at her enthusiasm, and waved to the barkeep as he raised his own shot glass. "Two more!" 

  


* * *

  


It was dark, but Ul’dah had plenty enough lighting. He found his way to the tavern via the rooftops and balconies, greatly outpacing his companions. His hand ached, but he hadn’t allowed the healer to touch it. Not until he had words with _her_ . 

As Pale walked through the door, his senses were assaulted by the smell of alcohol and unbearably loud music. He shouldered his way through the crowd, ignoring the men and women who brushed against him and beckoned him to dance. A ring of people clustered at the bar cheering and whistling. At his height he only had to push past the roegadyn customers to get a view of the scene. 

A woman sprawled across the bar top as a man crawled up her body, licking her belly and then higher to trail his tongue over the top of her breasts, between which sat a shot glass filled with some sort of liquor. The hyurian took the glass in his teeth, tipping his head back to drink the liquid and then quickly disposing of the glass to take the lime she held between her teeth, kissing her passionately in the process. 

The crowd around him roared at the scene. Pale shifted to get a better view. It was her. Of _course_ it was her. She laughed as the man shifted back down her body, sprinkling salt on her belly. The bartender held a bottle over her, and she squealed as he poured the liquor into her navel. The squeal quickly turned into gasps as the man leaned down to lick the salt from her body. She moaned and twined her fingers in his white hair as he began lapping and sucking at liquor. She flushed with alcohol and the effort to keep from spilling the liquid. 

The sight of her overwhelmed his senses and for a moment he forgot why he’d come here to begin with. 

“He’s over here, Nightbird!” Glass Willow waved. “Pale!” 

Glass and Nightbird had caught up to him, but he was in no mood to deal with any of them. As the two women approached, he turned away from the spectacle. “I’m leaving.” 

“Did you find her already?” Glass Willow asked. 

“She’s on the bar,” he said between gritted teeth. 

“You mean at the bar?” 

“ _ON_. THE. BAR!” He turned and stormed out of the tavern. The blonde tart would get a piece of his mind tomorrow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For an idea of Nightbird's the music check out:  
> <https://youtu.be/16ZBIiXocpE>
> 
> If you'd like a sample of Felina's guitar stylings, check out these links:  
> <https://youtu.be/KC3hJFvQv3A>  
> <https://youtu.be/RmLs8BfEbsU>
> 
> And, again, much thanks go out to HawkSong for collaborating and allowing me the use of her character, Nightbird.  
> You can see more of her work here: [HawkSong](/users/HawkSong/)
> 
> If you'd like to converse, conspire, and collaborate with fellow FFXIV writers and artists, check out  
> [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/8C6ZKTj)
> 
> [Chapter Title and Inspiration playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLeP6w042RhSMosRqBu47vhRqsqb93IFC2)


	8. Thunderstruck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The full extent of Felina's mischief comes to light as a wild night unfolds in the pleasure districts of Ul'dah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to HawkSong for allowing me the use of her character, Nightbird.  
> You can see more of her work here: [HawkSong](/users/HawkSong/)

Pale left the tavern as fast as his feet, and the crowd, would let him. He made it outside and leaned against the wall, panting and trying to get his mind off the sight of Felina moaning and writhing on the bar. He needed to be angry not-

“Pale!” Nightbird appeared beside him. “I thought I’d never catch you.”

“I need to go.” He started to leave but the small healer caught him by the arm.

“You need to let me work on that hand.”

He looked down. He’d nearly forgotten about the ache, which honestly was much lessened by now. He thrust his hand out at her without looking. “Just hurry up. I have something to attend to.”

She took his hand without a word and began channeling healing energy. The cool numbing wave of healing was more welcome than he realized and he relaxed, turning his thoughts back to Felina. He couldn’t remember seeing such a spectacle in all his life. Who was this woman? 

The waves of healing energy began to subside, and in its wake an energy of a more… sultry nature took its place. His cheeks reddened as he realized what was happening. If he had thought about it for more than two seconds, he would not have given her his hand as…  _ excited _ as he felt. Healers healed by interacting with their patient’s aether, and when one can feel your aether, they can also get a sense of your physical state… whatever it may be.

He turned to see her looking up at him from beneath thick lashes, a coy smile on her lips. “I could help you with more than your hand… if you like.” 

The redness in his cheeks grew to a full faced blush that crept up his ears. “That will not be necessary. Thank you.” He pulled his hand quickly from her grasp. “I will be at the Quicksand tomorrow.”

She looked on in concern as he turned and left. “O-ok…”

*****************

When Nightbird returned, Glass Willow was helping Felina down off the bar. The bard swayed and the white-haired Hyur took her arm to steady her. 

“Felina! What do you think you’re doing?!”

The blonde grinned a little too widely. “Body shots!”

The shorter Miqo’te fumed. “Not literally! I mean how could you allow a complete stranger to  _ lick _ you! In public!”

Felina leaned in, attempting but not quite managing a whisper. “Well, if it helps, he’s going to be licking me in private later.”

“Felina!”

“What?! Don’t be such a prude, Birdie!”

“I am  _ not _ a prude!” If her friend had seen her only a few minutes earlier she wouldn’t have said such. But clearly the bard was too far gone to rationalize with. She shot the Hyurian a look. “And who is this?”

“This,” Felina looped her arm through his. “is Thancred.”

“He looks like a ruffian.”

The Hyur laughed. “Why thank you, my lady.”

Nightbird ignored him. “Felina, we need to get you sober. We have  _ got _ to talk!” She reached for her friend’s arm but the other Miqo’te pulled away. 

“I am  _ not _ going anywhere!”

“Felina, what you did today was inexcusable!” The dark Miqo’te’s ears flattened and her tail thrashed wildly.

Even Glass Willow spoke up. “Yeah, Lina. You really took it too far this time.” 

She let out a loud sigh. “Well, I’m sorry! Ok?”

“It’s not us you need to apologize to! You need to say that to Pale!”

“Well he’s not here right now!”

“Because you were busy being ravished on the bartop when he found you!”

“Oh, so he’s a prude too.”

“He’s not-” She growled. Well, he  _ did _ turn her down. She shook her head. “Listen. Do what you want, but tomorrow we are meeting up at the Quicksand, and you had  _ better _ have an apology ready!”

Felina threw up her hands. “Ok! Fine! Just go!”

Nightbird turned on her heel and stormed out of the tavern.

Felina sighed and turned to Glass Willow. “So, you up for some shots?”

The Roegadyn woman held up her hands. “Actually, I think I’m gonna find somewhere a mite quieter this evenin’.” 

Felina shrugged. “Your loss.” She turned back to Thancred. “So? You feel like a dance?”

He gave her a lopsided smile. “Indeed.”

***************

Pale had heard of Ul’dah’s famous pillowhouses, and this looked to be one such establishment. He’d made the most hasty retreat he could manage after Nightbird… He shook his head. He didn’t need to think about her  _ or _ her blonde friend who put him in this state to begin with. He went inside and was greeted by a voluptuous older woman smoking a long pipe. 

“Good evening, good sir.” She purred. “Welcome to The Sultan’s Jewels. How may we serve you this night?”

“A companion for the evening, if you will.”

The woman nodded and gestured to a room beyond the foyer. “Right this way.” The atmosphere was dark and slightly smokey, smelling of sweet cherry tobacco and opium. The madame gestured to a couple of girls reclining on overstuffed pillows sharing a hookah. “Our Miqo’te girls are very popular.”   
  
Pale’s eyes fixed upon the women as they smiled back at him. A blonde and a brunette. “No! No Miqo’te!” He cleared his throat. “Ah- I prefer taller women.”

The woman gave an appeasing smile. And snapped her fingers. “If you prefer someone more statuesque perhaps a lovely Roegadyn lady would strike your fancy.” His eyebrows shot up at the woman who appeared before him. She had the same clear skin and soft eyes as Glass Willow. 

“I- I apologize. I was trying to be polite. Do you, perhaps, have any Elezen?”

“Well, we do have  _ one _ . Though this one may not be to your liking…”

“It’s fine! As long as they’re Elezen.” Pale didn’t care. Just as long as she didn’t remind him of his current teammates. 

The madam clapped twice. “Rowan, please come meet the gentleman.”

From the corner a figure moved with a jangle of their coin belt adorning gauzy bottoms slung low on slender hips. Long red hair reached well below the waist. The Elezen who appeared before him had to be one of the shortest he’d ever set eyes on… and male.

Pale put a hand to his head and sighed. “This is the only Elezen you have in your employ?”

The woman took a long draw of her pipe before speaking. “Elezen aren’t as popular in Ul’dah, sad to say. I’ve seen so many pretty ones in Gridania. But alas… choice is sadly limited.”

Pale sighed again, taking a long slow breath as he folded his arms and contemplated the ceiling. “You know what? Fine. Fine. At least he won’t remind me of anyone I know.”

Rowan smiled, clearly delighted and took the tall Elezen by the hand, leading him back to a private chamber. “Ishgardian?”

“What makes you think that?”

“Only an Ishgardian would complain so thoroughly about being presented a male courtesan and then still go to bed with him.”

Pale stared at the redhead silently for a long time before he replied. “Shut up and get on with it.”

*****************

Felina pulled the white-haired hyur into the room as he quickly slammed the door closed. She giggled as she swayed, twining her arms around his neck.

Thancred steadied her, gracing her with an easy smile. "I think we need to put you to bed."

"I think we need to find out what exactly that tongue of yours is capable of."

"I believe we can accomplish both. Don't you?"

She nodded, her teeth sinking into her lower lip as she reached for the hem of his tunic, tugging it up and over his head. They kicked off their boots strewing them across the room with little care for where they should end up. He grabbed her blouse quickly stripping it off her and then slipped his fingers inside her waistband and tugged her roughly towards him. His mouth captured hers with enough force to make her dizzy for a moment. His clever fingers worked the laces with such speed, her trousers began slipping down her hips before she even had a chance to react.

She broke the kiss, panting. "You work fast." She breathed.

"Only when it matters."

Her smalls were pulled down along with her trousers and kicked to the side, leaving her only in the soft black bra she'd worn beneath her shirt.

He grabbed her ass, lifting her as she locked her legs around his waist, and carried her to the bed. He tossed her with a bounce and quickly followed in her wake, descending on her to kiss her neck. Felina moaned as his lips sent shivers down her spine, and her hands reached around to knead the muscles of his shoulders and back. He reached down to cup her breast over her bra, grazing his thumb along the surface. The heat of his fingers bled through the cotton fabric, imparting a sensation completely different from a direct touch. The relatively rough texture brushed her flesh stimulating the nipple beneath to hardness from its delicious friction.

He moved down to kiss the swell of her breasts, humming as he ran his tongue along them. “I can still taste the salt on your skin.” He leaned up to squeeze her again and sighed. “Ah, these are so lovely. I’d be willing to bet they’re tipped with the same rosy shade as your lips.”

"You could certainly take this last bit off me and find out."

"I could. You’re quite fetching in it though.” He smiled. “Besides, I like to save a treat for later."

The bed creaked as he slid down her body, kissing a path in reverse of the one he took when she was lying on the bar earlier. He reached her navel and dipped his tongue in the divot there, pulling a sudden squeak from her as her stomach involuntarily retreated from the sensation.

He laughed at her reaction. “Shall I continue lower, then?” 

Felina’s breath whooshed out, and without comment, she pushed his head between her legs. He chuckled as he kissed the inside of her thigh. His thumb skimmed over her mound, ruffling the fine hairs he found. “What a sweet little tuft of fur you’ve got here. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen the like.”

Felina blushed at his comment. It was one of the things that marked her as different, and even the hyurians often noticed this particular distinction, at least the ones who had experience with other Miqo’te. The same soft fur found on her ears and tail graced her nethers. Before she could say a word, he’d moved on though, spreading her open with his thumbs.

“You are quite thoroughly drenched, my dear. I take it you enjoyed the body shots earlier. Did you enjoy all those eyes on you as I drank from you?”

She felt herself flushing, but she couldn’t deny that she  _ had. _ “Yes.”

“Hold that thought in your mind, my dear.” He dipped his head, finally sliding his tongue through her wet cleft. Her back arched as her hand instinctively reached down to tangle in his hair. She’d been anticipating this from the moment he’d set his tongue against her back at the tavern. 

Her mind went back to that moment. People gathered around to watch them - a lurid spectacle that had likely left more wet than simply herself. A Roe moved his hand to his groin, adjusting his trousers as he watched. A hyurian woman bit her lip as the woman behind her reached around to cup her breast. The woman turned to kiss her lover as her hand drifted up to cover the other woman’s hand with an encouraging squeeze. A Tia’s hips pressed against his beau’s backside. More than one person cheered Thancred on as he crawled up her body. 

His tongue swirled around her sensitive nub, and she moaned. In her mind, the polished surface of the bar pressed against her back, and the faint spray of lime juice hit her tongue as she bit down a little too hard on the wedge between her teeth. She whined as her back flexed with an involuntary need to arch, and she struggled not to squirm beneath the hyur’s attentions. The bartender stood over her with a knowing smile and poured liquor into her navel as if he did this every night. She was heating. His lips moved across her belly before lapping at the liquor in the hollow of her abdomen. The ache between her thighs pulsed as the crowd stirred and surged around them.

A pair of fingers slid inside, and the bed creaked with her movement as she ground down against them. She closed her eyes and looked out into the crowd as her pleasure mounted. She spotted a face in the crowd - a pale face…  _ Pale’s _ face in the crowd. Her breath came hot and fast as he watched, at first surprised and then entranced. His eyes met her own, and her mouth went dry as her body flushed with awareness of his gaze. She moaned and watched his eyes grow wide as his pupils expanded and his lips parted. 

She looked down to see a white head between her legs. His strands as silk beneath her fingers. Lovely white strands with pointed ear tips peeking out from beneath the fall of his hair. He glanced up with his icy-blue gaze before latching onto the sensitive nub, sending her over the edge. She wailed as she arched nearly off the bed. Her orgasm washed over her in powerful waves, and for a moment, she thought she saw stars. Finally the sensation became too intense, and she shoved away the head between her thighs with its too clever tongue.

She lay, blinking at the ceiling while the stars cleared from her vision. What was that? When she looked back down, hazel eyes met her panting, thunderstruck stare. “I take it you’re well pleased?”

She could only nod as she tried to catch her breath.

He smiled. “Well, there’s more where that came from.”

*************************

His breath grew ragged as he neared release. He closed his eyes and thought back to the dark tavern with its press of bodies crowded around the bar where a blonde Miqo’te writhed beneath a white-haired Hyurian. The music had been loud, almost unbearably so, but somehow her moans broke through the noise eliciting a surge of lust he hadn’t expected. And then… Oh Fury… Then she looked at him. 

The mouth around him dragged a needy groan from him as he thought of those eyes. Somehow she’d spotted him in the crowd, and that crystal blue gaze pinned him to the spot as his cock sprang to life straining against his trousers. Her mouth moved forming a word on a moan… a name…

“Gods…” He came hard and fast, his hand fisted tightly in a mop of long hair. He panted a moment before looking down, disappointed at the red strands in his hand. How he would have liked to fuck that spiteful little mouth of hers. He growled. She shouldn’t affect him that way. He pulled, bringing the courtesan’s head up. 

He cringed as Pale disentangled his fingers. “A little rough there at the end.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’ve had worse.” The ginger Elezen swiped his hand across his mouth.

Pale frowned running both hands through his hair as he sat up to lean against the multitude of pillows piled against the headboard. “No, I really am sorry. My mind was on other things.” 

“Obviously.” Rowan slid out of bed and padded over to the sideboard. “Ale or wine?”

“Your choice.”

He shrugged and poured a glass of dark-red wine. “So, tell me what happened.” he said, handing a glass over to the other man before pouring another for himself.

Pale took a long drink from his glass before answering. “This Miqo’te woman sent me on a wild goose chase today.”

“Oh?” The ginger lit a small spirit lamp displayed on a tray by the bedside then skewered a small lump of resin and began heating it over the flame. 

“My squad was sent here from Gridania to deliver messages, and of course she slipped some extra messages in my stack along with this.” He leaned over and grabbed his trousers off the floor, drawing a wrinkled envelope from the pocket. “I thought the addressing looked odd, but I didn’t get much sleep last night  _ thanks to the little brat and her guitar _ and completely missed the message until someone pointed it out to me.” 

The other Elezen leaned over, taking the envelope in Pale’s outstretched hand and studied the writing on the outside. After a moment he started to laugh.

_ To: Yukkin Ligg _ _  
_ _ From: Mica Hunt _

“Gods, what did you do to her?!”

“Nothing! She’s been a complete pain since I met her, and now I’m stuck with her for the next year.” The ginger continued to laugh. “It’s not  _ that _ funny.”

“To you.” He dabbed at his eyes and let out a long amused sigh. “She’s a sassy little cunt. Listen, just take this back to her superiors. I’m sure they’ll reassign you.”

Pale huffed. “I don’t know that my other options are any better.”

“Well, then you’re going to have to find a way to get along.”

Pale took back the envelope, frowning down at it. “I don’t know if that’s possible.” He put the message back and sighed, rubbing the back of his hand absently.

The shorter Elezen turned back to the spirit lamp, placing the skewer against a flat metal block and rolling the softened resin into a small, round pill. He took a long straight pipe with a small ceramic chamber attached close to the pipe’s end and dropped the resin inside. He then rested the end of the pipe over a small fire crystal and tapped it, setting it aglow. 

“I’ve got something to help with that hand.” Pale’s jaw tightened, and Rowan gave him a sympathetic smile. “Yeah, I noticed. This’ll help your feelings too, at least for tonight.” He arched an eyebrow in question as he held up the pipe.

Pale eyed it a moment and then finally nodded. “Okay.”

The smaller man slid into bed, sitting back against the overstuffed pillows beside him. Pale reached for the pipe, but the courtesan drew it away. “Ah! This is a collectors’s item. Take a long, slow breath in and let it out.” Pale did as he said while the ginger took a long draw on the pipe. He then reached, cupping the back of the taller Elezen’s neck and pressed his mouth to the other’s, breathing out as Pale breathed in. He drew back with a smile and a wisp of smoke on his lips.

Pleasure rushed to Pale’s head and spread throughout his body like a warm blanket on a cold Coerthan night. Whatever pains he might have had, fled in the wake of euphoria that flooded his mind. He breathed out the smoke in a long stream. His vision remained clear but everything somehow looked - and felt - softer, like the pillows at his back.

“Better?”

Pale nodded. “Much.” A smile tugged at his lips, and he chuckled. “She is going to be in  _ so _ much trouble tomorrow.” 

Rowan laughed, smiling back at him. “That’s the spirit.”

“But until then…” Pale grabbed him by the chin, and the courtesan smiled.

****************************

Felina panted as Thancred rolled off of her. She giggled as she realized she was still wearing her bra. “Do you not like tits or something?”

He looked over at her with an incredulous expression. “What? I  _ love _ tits.”

“Well, you know…”She tugged on a strap.

“You needn’t worry. That’s coming off before I’m done with you.”

She arched an eyebrow. “Oh? So there’s to be a round two?”

“If I have any say in it, there will be.” He shot her a wicked grin. She laughed as he turned on his side, leaning up on his elbow to look down at her. “So, what was that other Miqo’te yelling about earlier, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“Oh, gods.” Felina put both hands over her face. “I fucked up this time. I  _ really _ fucked up.” She sighed and turned to face him, propping herself up on her arm. “Soooo, you know how big Ul’dah is, right?”

“I’m quite familiar with the city, yes.”

“I had no idea.” At his raised brow she continued. “See, I came here with my team to deliver messages. It took me way longer than I thought it would to deliver my letters, and they were all in order. Well, I  _ kind of _ took a letter from each of the sorted packets and slipped them into our Elezen teammate’s packet.”

“You didn’t.”

“And then I sort of…” She made twirling motion with her hand. “...mixed them all up.”

“No…”

“And then I  _ might  _ have included one at the bottom of the stack to a place that doesn’t exist.” 

Thancred’s jaw dropped. “...Why would you do that?!”

“It was stupid, ok?! I just wanted to piss him off enough to make him submit a transfer request… since mine was denied.” She looked down. “ I… I wanted him off the team so another friend of mine could take his place. Someone important to me.”

“You know they rarely grant those requests, right?”

“I know.”

“And what makes you think they would have replaced the Elezen with the person you wanted?” He leaned in. “You know they could suspend you over this. It could set your whole team back.”

“I told you it was stupid…” She looked him in the eyes. “But isn’t there someone out there you’d do anything to be with?”

He sighed. “Perhaps I have little room to judge on that account. But it’s clear you’re going to have to make things right.”

She heaved a deep sigh. “Yeah. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that now.”

Thancred laughed. “After the stunt you pulled, I have every confidence you’re clever enough to figure something out.”

“You really think so?” She looked up at him hesitantly.

“Definitely. Out of curiosity, though, what did that mystery letter say?” She leaned over and whispered into his ear, and his eyes grew wide. “You’re not serious… ‘You can lick my cunt?’” He was speechless for a moment before he started laughing again. “You are in  _ so _ much trouble, young lady.” She squeaked as he grabbed her, pulling her over his lap. “I think you may be in need of a spanking.”

“I probably deserve it…” His hand connected with her bare bottom, and she let out a staccato  _ ‘Ah!’ _ . “I  _ have _ been really bad.”

He let out a chuckle that rumbled deep in his chest as he caressed the curve of her ass. “I aim to make your bottom as rosy pink as your nipples before I’m done.”

“And how exactly would you know how rosy they are, sir?”

He shot her a roguish grin. “I suppose I will have to take my best guess…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks go out to HawkSong for allowing me the use of her character, Nightbird.  
> You can see more of her work here: [HawkSong](/users/HawkSong/)
> 
> If you'd like to converse, conspire, and collaborate with fellow FFXIV writers and artists, check out  
> [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/8C6ZKTj)
> 
> [Chapter Title and Inspiration playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLeP6w042RhSMosRqBu47vhRqsqb93IFC2)


	9. I Don't Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning comes along with the need for apologies, but have things already gone too far?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _10/11/20 - In the interest of actually getting this chapter posted, I have not included pictures this time. I will add them in at a later time!_
> 
> Much thanks to HawkSong for collaborating and allowing me the use of her character, Nightbird.  
> You can see more of her work here: [HawkSong](/users/HawkSong/)

Felina’s head throbbed as she clawed her way to wakefulness. The light creeping in through the shutters stabbed at her eyes, and she flinched away. Ugh. She shouldn't have drank so much. She looked up to see the white-haired Hyurian fastening his trousers. “How do you manage to be up and about already after the night we had?”

He flashed her a grin as he cinched the last of the laces. “Lots of practice, I suppose.”

Felina groaned. “Come back to bed…”

“Believe me. I’d love to, but I have some important matters I really should attend to.” He grabbed a wooden cup off the small inn table and poured some water out of the waiting pitcher. He held it over to her with an apologetic smile. “And you have your own dilemmas to deal with today, if I’m not mistaken.”

She frowned and took the cup from his hand as she sat up. He was right of course. “Time to face the music, huh?” She gathered the sheets over herself and swung her feet over the edge of bed to touch the dusty floor. 

Thancred nodded and took a seat beside her, the worn mattress creaking beneath his weight. “I’ve been there too, you know. I’ve found it’s best to just rip the bandage off. Get it over with.”

Felina sighed and drank the water. She was thirstier than she thought and finished the whole thing before she spoke. “I don’t even know what to say. I mean, I really fucked up.”

“That’s a good starting point, I’d say.”

She groaned again and flung herself back against the bed. “This is going to suck.”

He chuckled, leaning over her. “Yes, it most certainly will.” He smiled down at her. “But I tell you what. If you’ll hurry up and get yourself dressed, I’ll walk you over to the Quicksand. I’m heading that way anyway.”

The corners of her mouth crooked upwards ever so slightly. “Okay.” She let him take her arms and pull her out of bed, the sheets slipping off her body and down to the floor. 

He pulled her close, naked breasts pressing against his chest, and sighed. “I do wish we had more time…”

She peeked up at him, a wicked glint in her eyes. “I mean… how long does a quickie really take?”

Thancred laughed. “Well…”

  


*****************

  


Pale emerged from the back of the pillowhouse rooms feeling much refreshed. That may have been the best night of sleep he had gotten in weeks. Rowan accompanied him to the front of the house to settle his tab with the proprietor.

“Oi! Pale!”

A chill snaked its way down his spine. He turned slowly to find an enthusiastic Glass Willow followed by a rather less-than-enthusiastic Nightbird who seemed to be unsuccessfully willing the floor to swallow her up. "What… are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing, but I don't think you'd believe me if I said I was here just to talk." She swung her arm around the pretty Roegadyn woman he'd seen the night before. "Isn't she gorgeous?! I can't believe you didn't snap her up!"

"Ah... right…" The Elezen beside him cleared his throat and stepped up to Pale's side, slender fingers tapping a rhythm on his hip.

Glass Willow's eyes grew wide as understanding dawned on her. "Oh. Ohhhhhh!!!" She turned to address the shrinking Miqo'te behind her. "See, it had nothing to do with you!"

Nightbird stepped forward, shoving her elbow roughly into the warrior's ribs. "Would you please shut up about that!" She straightened even as the Roe doubled over to clutch her side. "It seems we all found suitable companionship for the evening. Why don't we just pay up and leave?" The temperature in the room must have dropped two degrees as the dark Miqo’te marched her way to the front, tail thrashing behind her.

Rowan leaned over to whisper in Pale’s ear. “Is she…?”

“Nope. Not even the one I was talking about.”

The courtesan’s brow arched. “Wow.” He patted the taller Elezen’s shoulder. “Well, if you need a break from the girls, you know where to find me.”

Pale let out a deep sigh. “Noted.”

  


*****************

  


“Hey, thanks for walking me over here.” The streets were already fairly lively as Felina and Thancred approached the Quicksand.

“My pleasure. As I said, I was already headed this direction anyway. No reason I couldn’t escort a lovely lady such as yourself.” He flashed her a dazzling smile, and she laughed.

“You are more charming than you have any right to be, sir.”

“I do aim to please.” They both shared a laugh, and for a moment, Thancred paused, drawing in a deep breath. “Listen, if you’re ever in town again, you should look me up.”

“Really?” 

He nodded, hazel eyes shining with a warmth that made its way down her belly to disperse in a spray of butterflies. “Really. Momodi usually has tabs on my whereabouts. I’ll make sure she knows to send you my way.”

“Okay!” She smiled. “A-and if you ever find yourself in Gridania just ask for Felina Silverleaf. I’m with the Archer’s Guild.” She stuck out an awkward hand for him to shake.

He grasped her fingers and delicately curled them into his palm, taking her offered hand and turning it over at the same time. “A bard, perhaps?”

“H-how did you know?” Her breath hitched as he stroked his thumb across the tops of her fingers.

“I suppose it takes one to know one.” He brought her hand to his lips, lightly brushing her knuckles with a kiss. “Until then, Ms. Silverleaf.”

She found herself blushing despite herself. “Until then.”

He smiled, lingering a moment more over her hand before turning and pacing away, leaving her utterly breathless in the busy streets of Ul’dah.

  


*****************

  


Felina sipped on the orange juice she’d ordered, occasionally placing the cool glass against her forehead. Thancred had distracted her from her hangover, but now that he was gone, her aching head became her new focus. She looked up as Nightbird approached the table. “How in all the hells did you manage to make it here before the rest of us?”

Nightbird kept her voice down, but it was plain that she did so only because the Quicksand was nearly deserted at this hour. Even so, the two of them were getting a couple of extra glances from the handful of other customers, and a small frown of concern from Momodi.

Felina narrowed her eyes. “You don’t think I’m capable of getting up and about early?”

The shorter woman hovered over her, arms folded, tail thrashing. “No.”

At her curt response, Felina leaned back, arms outstretched. “Well here I am. What do you say to that?”

Nightbird stared at her, slowly pulling out a chair, the scraping sound hitting every pain center in Felina’s brain. “You smell like old alcohol and sex.”

“At least I don’t smell like alcohol and old sex.”

“You smell like that too.”

“What’s got your tail in a kink this morning?”

“In case you don’t remember, you sent our new team member on a wild goose chase spanning the length and breadth of _Ul’dah!_ ”

“Oh yeah… The one you’re sweet on.” At Nightbird’s incredulous stare she countered. “Oh please, you’d have to be blind not to notice how you’ve been falling all over him.”

“I am the party healer, Felina. It’s my _job_ to take care of injured team members.” Nightbird’s tone was frosty. “And even if that _were_ true, that doesn't excuse what you've done.” 

Felina sighed. "I know…

Nightbird flagged down a server and tersely ordered food, enough for the other two who she knew were on their way - eventually. She eyed Felina and didn’t bother asking if the blond bard was hungry. Once the server went away, she crossed her arms and resumed glaring at her comrade across the wide table.

“Explain to me...if you can...why you’ve been such a bitch lately. To Pale for quite some time, but last night you included all of us in this...this...whatever it is. Tantrum over Kam, though I don’t want to believe you would be this awful just because of one person.”

Felina winced. “Okay, I deserve that, but to be fair. _You_ came after _me_ last night. By that point the damage was done, so I didn’t see any reason to go into the whole thing when I was clearly three sheets to the wind. But...” She took a deep breath. “As much as I hate to say it… it _is_ about Kam. I just sort of panicked when I realized he wouldn’t be with us. I just don’t know what I’m going to do when my heat…”

“You know good and damn well there are options open to you, Felina.” Nightbird wasn’t taking pity on her friend, her temper roused all over again after the embarrassment at the pillowhouse. “Willow and I both can handle the physical aspects...and that offer still stands from me as it always has. As does my offer of getting you stronger medicines.”

“I’ve _tried_ the stronger medicines, Night. They make me sick. And as for the physical aspects… there are things you and Glass _can’t_ provide!”

“ _Like what?!_ ” Nightbird demanded, her voice shrill for a second. She glanced around the room and forced herself to hiss her next words. “You never talked about Kam, to me at least, except as your friend. If there was more than that - if you bonded with him in some way - then why wouldn’t you tell us? And if it’s not that, then what on earth are you _talking_ about?”

She blushed. “Kam doesn’t provide anything _special_ per se. Of course, we’re close, but… it’s not like I’m in love with him. I just… I just _trust_ him.”

“And you don’t. Trust. Me.” Nightbird bit off the words.

“N-no! That’s not it! If anything, I trust you _more_!”

Nightbird’s mouth was tight and her eyes were narrowed, a look Felina knew meant she was fighting back tears. 

“Nightbird! No! Don’t cry!” She huffed, looking flustered and over desperate. “Fine! You want to know what it is I need?! I need come, Nightbird!”

Suddenly, it seemed you could hear a pin drop in the Quicksand. The doors to the street banged closed as a speechless Glass Willow and Pale froze inside the doorway. Felina looked up and felt her whole body heat from the bottoms of her feet to the top of her head. Her hair might have even been blushing. She slid down into her chair wishing the gates of the abyss would just open and suck her out into nothingness. Anything to have everyone’s eyes _off_ of her!

Glass Willow was the first to speak. “Well. That explains a lot.”

  


*****************

  


“Where did he _go_?!”

“I don’t know! He was right beside me when we walked in!”

Felina was so mortified by her own outburst the next few minutes seemed to blur together in a haze. Suddenly she was outside the Quicksand, followed quickly by Nightbird and Glass Willow. The sunlight stabbed her eyes, and she ducked into an alleyway to get out of the direct light. Now she stood, leaning her head against the cool stone of the building, trying to forget she existed while Glass and Nightbird worried over the apparent disappearance of their new Elezen team member.

“Felina, you didn’t see where he went did you?” Nightbird was shaking her shoulder.

“When? _Before_ or _after_ I told the entire Quicksand about my sexual preferences? No! I didn’t see where he fucking went!” She shot them both a look. “But I’d be willing to bet he doesn’t want anyone to know he’s associated with us at this point!”

“And whose fault is that?!” Nightbird bit.

“MINE! Okay! This is all my fault!”

“Well what do we do now?” Glass Willow, as usual, seemed the least shaken by their most current scandal. 

“Well, do you have any other established meeting places aside from the Quicksand?” Felina asked. Her friends shook their heads. “Then one of us needs to wait at the Quicksand while the other two try to track him down." They both stared at her. " _I'm_ not staying. Not after that."

Nightbird sighed and crossed her arms. "As much as I hate to agree with you, he'd probably turn and run if he came back to find you there anyway. Glass should probably stay since she wasn't involved in _'the incident'_."

Glass Willow nodded. "Yeah, an' you can go check the pillowhouse."

Felina's ears twitched. "Pillowhouse?"

"Oh yeah! Me an' Nightbird stayed at one last night after Pale turned her down. Poor girl was all thrashin' tail and cattywampus ears when I found her."

"Would you _please_ stop talking about that?!"

"What?! Felina's little show got everybody riled last night. No shame in that. Hells, Pale found her first an' his trousers told me where he stood on the matter, if you get my drift. And he don't even like her!"

"You are not helping, Willow!"

"Oh yeah... I don't suppose that does help, does it?" She shrugged. "But long story short, we all ended up at the same place. Saw him coming out with this hot little red headed consort this morn, fore Nightbird got all flustered an' hightailed it out of there."

" _Willow!!_ "

"Sorry! Sorry!"

Felina leaned back against the wall and sighed. "So, are you okay checking out the pillowhouse, Nightbird?" The darker Miqo'te straightened and nodded. "Okay, it's settled then. You'll go do that, Glass will stay at the Quicksand in case he comes back, and I'll check the surrounding area. Sound good?"

The other two nodded. "Okay, let's move out."

  


*****************

  


_Fuck this! Fuck this! Fuck this!_ All those women were crazy, not just the blonde. Felina just happened to be their ring leader. He couldn’t have possibly been assigned to a _normal_ squad. Aside from the pesky bard, the healer had the nerve to come onto him in the middle of a healing session, and the warrior needled him for details of his evening at the pillowhouse all the way back to the Quicksand. Of course when he’d refused said details, she proceeded to regale him with all the sordid _ins_ and _outs_ of her own liaison. Felina’s announcement at their _very public_ meeting place had simply been the last straw in a very large haystack.

He approached the common stables located just outside the city gates and sent an attendant to fetch his chocobo. He couldn’t get out of this city fast enough. 

“Excuse me?”

He turned and groaned as he found himself staring down at the white-haired Hyur who’d been crawling all over Felina last night. “Please don’t tell me that wretched bard sent you after me.”

The man looked thoroughly confused. “Who?” 

“Nevermind. No one.” He turned and fixed his eyes on the stable’s rate sign as if he hadn’t already paid for his chocobo’s overnight stay. 

“Wait. You wouldn’t be talking about Felina would you? Felina Silverleaf?” His eyes widened. “You’re that Elezen fellow she sent all over the city, aren’t you?” At Pale’s angry stare he continued. “I see I guessed correctly. I take it she hasn’t apologized yet?”

“Apologize?” His eyes narrowed.

“She seemed quite remorseful this morning. If you haven’t had a chance to speak with her, you really should hear her out.”

“Here’s your chocobo, sir.” The attendant walked out with his chocobo. 

Pale took the reins in hand, patting the bird before swinging up into the saddle. He brought his mount around, stopping beside the Hyur and leaned down to pin him with a stare. “How about this instead. If you happen to see Felina, give her a message for me.” Thancred raised a brow, and he continued. “Tell her to go fuck herself.”

Before the Hyur could respond, Pale let out a sharp whistle, and the chocobo took off down the dusty road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks go out to HawkSong for collaborating and allowing me the use of her character, Nightbird.  
> You can see more of her work here: [HawkSong](/users/HawkSong/)
> 
> If you'd like to converse, conspire, and collaborate with fellow FFXIV writers and artists, check out  
> [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/8C6ZKTj)
> 
> [Chapter Title and Inspiration playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLeP6w042RhSMosRqBu47vhRqsqb93IFC2)


	10. Sweet Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Pale heads to Gridania to make his report, Felina must decide what lengths she'll go to in order to stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **CW: This chapter contains themes of dubious consent, coercion, and punishment. Please use your best judgment when reading.**

“Felina!” Thancred shouted through the crowd. He wasn’t quite sure why he was bothering to try and help some woman he barely knew, but thoughts of her had been running through his head since they parted. And if that weren’t enough, the look on that Elezen’s face set off alarm bells in his mind he couldn’t seem to ignore. His fellow Scions would just have to forgive him his lateness. He darted through the bustling streets drawing the ire of those he nearly ran down in his haste. “Sorry!”  
  
Where would he check if he was looking for a wayward team member? Pubs. Taverns. He poked his head in a small establishment looking for a blonde head and tail amongst the patrons. Nothing. He headed farther down the street, intermittently calling her name, just in case she was in hearing range, but not in line of sight.

“Thancred?!”

He turned and saw her across the busy thoroughfare. He made his way over to her, narrowly dodging a Roegadyn merchant with a rolling fruit cart. “Felina! By the Twelve, I’m glad I found you!”  
  
“What’s wrong?!”

“I just met your Elezen friend-” He panted. “Well, not _friend,_ but that’s beside the point. He’s just left town, and if his manner was any indication of what he plans to do, you’re going to want to try to catch him.”

“What!?” She grabbed him by the shoulders. “How long ago?!”

“Probably about an hour and half. Maybe two hours.”

“What did he say?! Gods, probably something along the lines of ‘she can go fuck herself’, right?”

He raised his hands. “Actually, those were his _exact_ words.”

A small whine escaped her. “Fuuuuck…”

“Agreed. Come on, you’ve got to go _now!_ ” Thancred took her by the elbow and pulled her along. “There’s a couple of shortcuts you can take. If you leave now, you can probably catch him in the Shroud.”

“Wait! What about my team?!”

“Just give me their names, and I’ll get a message to them.”

Felina gaped. “Why are you helping me so much?”

He huffed with perplexed laughter. “Honestly? I have no idea.”

She blinked not quite knowing how to respond as he dragged her along.“Well, thank you.”

He simply looked back and smiled.

******************

The shortcuts Thancred had told her about had been treacherous. Picking along a mountainous pathway that bypassed the road and then racing through the plains between Thanlan and the Black Shroud, dodging monsters where she could, but frequently picking them off as they nipped at her chocobos heels. By the time they reached the cover of the Shroud, she and her mount were both exhausted. She led the bird over to a stream, patting its neck as it drank and shook the sand from its feathers.

She took a long drink from her own canteen. About a mile from here, she should rejoin the road if she’d followed Thancred’s directions well enough. Her chocobo whistled, coming back to her side and nuzzling her with its beak.

“You did so good, sweetie. Were you scared back there? I know I was.” The bird tilted its head as if it didn’t understand the question, and Felina laughed. She reached into the chocobo’s packs and fished out some fresh gysahl greens the stables had provided. The bird trilled happily as it took the greens from her hand.

“Just a little farther and maybe we can catch up with Pale. Do you think he’ll forgive me?” she asked as she stroked the golden feathers, but the bird offered up no comment. “Yeah, me either, but I have to try, right?” The chocobo shook itself all over and leaned its head against her shoulder as she scratched the small feathers on its head. “You’re very sweet. Sweeter than I deserve. I hope they’ll let me keep you after all is said and done.” The bird crooned. “I’ll try my best.”

******************

A small settlement on the edge of the Shroud waited just down the road from where Felina had emerged. She asked around long enough to find that an Elezen matching Pale’s description had passed through here, but had only stopped long enough for a bit of food and provisions. Felina sighed. He couldn’t make it easy on her by staying at the inn, could he? She thanked the villagers and travelled on. It was late afternoon, and he would have to stop to camp soon. She urged her mount onwards as she kept an eye and ear out for signs of the Elezen.

Before long, the sound of a chocobo whistle caught her attention, and she turned toward the sound. The camp was a good distance from the road, and when Felina finally reached the small clearing, she found Pale reclining against his chocobo who seemed to be bedding down for the evening. His head jerked up at the sound of her approach, his brows lowering as a hard frown creased his lips.

“Gods damn it all to hell! What are you?! Part tonberry?! How?!” He left the question lingering in the air as he stood to face her.

Felina swung down from her mount and stepped toward him. “I took some shortcuts.”

“And the others?”

“At least two hours behind us if they left the city immediately. I told the messenger not to give them the shortcut. I wanted to talk to you alone. I need to apologize-”

“I’m not interested in your apologies.” He grabbed his canteen from the ground and strode off into the woods.

“Wait! Please, just hear me out! What I did was… _so_ wrong! I didn’t mean for it to go so far!”

“Fuck off!”

“I’m sorry, Pale!” His long legs made it hard to keep pace with him, and she practically ran to catch up.

He turned on his heel, and she nearly collided with him. “Sorry’s not good enough. Not anymore. Someone got hurt because of your petty little stunt.”

“Wh-what?” Her eyes went wide.  
  
“That’s right. I walked in on an innocent man being flogged. The letter I had in my hand proved it, but by the time I got there his back was already in shreds, _Felina_.” He spat her name like a curse.

The color drained from her cheeks and a feeling like a heavy stone sank to the pit of her stomach. “Oh gods. I-I had no idea…”

“Like I said. I’m not interested in your apologies. You can’t apologize for _that. So,_ ” he growled, “when I make it back to Gridania, I’m reporting this whole fucking squad of degenerates. I don’t even _care_ if they send me to Ishgard anymore.”

“No! Wait! Please! I’ll take responsibility. This was all my fault. Just, leave Glass Willow and Nightbird out of it.”

Pale started laughing - the sound bordering on mania. “Oh no. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get reassigned? I’m not leaving this to chance.”

“Please!” She wasn’t sure how she was going to convince him, but she had to try. “Listen, I’ll do anything. Just… don’t report my friends.”

He folded his arms, staring down his nose as he regarded her. “Anything?”

“Y-yeah...”

Long moments passed as he stood, quiet and still as a statue.

“On your knees.”

The chill in his voice sent a shiver down her spine, and she took a step back. “D-do you want me to beg?”

“No.” He stepped forward, closing the distance between them. He reached for her, his eyes darkening as he took her chin in hand. He stared down, studying her features for long moments before stroking his thumb along the swell of her bottom lip. “Get on your knees.”

Her eyes grew wide as her breath caught in her throat. Her heart threatened to pound out of her chest, and her ears flattened against her head. She couldn’t let her friends pay for her mistake. She had to make things right, no matter what. She took a deep breath and slowly sunk to her knees. She reached for the front of his trousers, and tugged at the laces with shaking hands. Before she could pull free the first lace, he grabbed her wrist.

His hand on hers trembled. “You were really going to do that.” His brows were lowered and pinched. He looked away, his mouth twisting as if he’d bitten something rotten.

She searched his face for some sort of answer. “What do you want from me?”

“I haven’t decided. But it isn’t this.” He let go of her and walked quickly away into the darkening forest.

******************

When he returned to camp a fire had been built. Before it, Felina sat idly poking at the crackling flames. Pale stopped, drawing up short at the sight of her. “What are you still doing here?”

She lifted her shoulder in a short half-shrug. “It was getting dark anyway.”

He hesitated. “So you’re really staying? After what I just did?”

“You stopped, didn’t you?” She glanced up before resuming her prodding of the small fire. “Plus, I don’t want to hobble my chocobo riding through a dark forest.” She continued when he didn’t reply. “I refuse to be afraid of you.”

He met her eyes and saw the determination there. But she _had_ been afraid. He’d seen it in her eyes and the shake of her hands, but that she refused to submit to fear… that was admirable. “Good.” He pulled a bit of dried beef from a pack and took a seat across the fire from her, not speaking but watching the fire, occasionally eyeing the bard.

“So, there’s no way I can convince you not to report us?”

“No.” He said flatly.

She sighed. “For what it’s worth, I really am sorry. You didn’t deserve the treatment I gave you.”

He grunted and tore off a strip of jerky. They sat in silence for a time listening to the crack of the fire and the quiet rustle of leaves in the evening breeze. “I know I said I only requested to join your squad because I didn’t want to be sent off to Ishgard, but that wasn’t completely true.” He toed at the ground as he spoke. “Back in the Deepcroft when we were down at the bottom of that cavern, I felt… it doesn’t matter, but Nightbird told me it was an effect of your…”  
  
Felina’s eyes darted up to meet his own. “Oh.” Her gaze slid away, turning inward. “I had no idea.”

He nodded. “I was… not myself when I asked to join your squad.”

A flinch. Small but he noticed it in the stillness. “I see… I’m sorry.”

“It’s in both our interests that we part ways.”

She nodded. Quiet... contemplative. “Right.”

******************

Felina woke as footsteps approached her bedroll. She blinked, bleary-eyed as the Elezen knelt beside her. “Pale?”

“Get up.”

“Huh?” She blinked trying to figure out what was going on.

“I changed my mind.”

That got her attention. “You won’t report us after all?!”

He smiled, but the glint in his eyes gave her pause. “I’ll let you apologize. If I think it’s acceptable, I’ll consider it.” He pulled her up by her elbow. “Come.”  
  
“Where are we going?”  
  
“Just a short distance. Don’t want to disturb the chocobos.” He led her away from the clearing, but still close enough that the firelight illuminated them. “Now you said you’d do anything to keep your friends out of trouble. I want to know how much you meant that.”  
  
“I…” She blushed. So this is what he meant when he said he’d changed his mind. She sagged inwardly. She thought they’d come to a sort of understanding. “I’ll do whatever you want.”  
  
“Very well. I want you on your knees. Just like before.”  
  
She swallowed, and knelt before him, leaves crunching under her knees. His fingers threaded roughly through her hair as she reached for the front of his trousers, and pulled at the laces. Her mind fixated on the slide of cotton laces through metal grommets as she tugged them loose one by one. The leather of his trousers strained and gave way as the ties gradually loosened.  
  
She opened the front, pulling the leather apart and reached for the waistband of his smalls, pulling them down to free a long thick length. She balked, open-mouthed at the size of it as a small bead of precum welled at the tip. She could barely move. Barely breathe.  
  
Fingers tightened in her hair and pulled her head back, forcing her to stare into ice cold eyes. “I assume you know what to do, or will I have to _teach_ you?”  
  
She said nothing, simply wrapping her hand around his length, lining it up with her mouth before sliding her tongue out to pillow the head against it as she stared defiantly up at him. She felt a tremble go through him as the small salty bead ran down to spread across the soft pink flesh.  
  
When he spoke again, his voice rumbled sending an unexpectedly lascivious thrill through her body. “You do know. Good. Now get to it.”  
  
She closed her lips around him, and his breath hissed between his teeth as his head tipped back. She swirled her tongue around the tip before pulling his length into her mouth - or what she could of it. She’d never had an encounter with anyone of his size, either in stature or manhood. She opened wide to accommodate his girth, and slid her hand all the way to his base when he touched the back of her throat.  
  
She bobbed her head slowly, dragging the flat of her tongue along the underside of his shaft as her hand followed along the same wet path in the hopes of giving him the sense of more depth than she knew how to provide. There was no way she could take him all, was there? Her mind drifted to what other parts of her might enjoy the challenge of taking his cock. He groaned with pleasure above her, and her cunt throbbed in answering need.  
  
She squirmed, her knees grinding into the soft earth of the forest floor as the smell of leaves and greenery mingled with the floral hint of opium rising off his clothes and his own heady male scent. As her thoughts wandered so did her free hand, finding its way down her trousers and beneath her smalls. Why was she so wet? She shouldn’t be enjoying this. A moan rose, unbidden from her throat drawing his attention to her desperate state.  
  
“Are you enjoying this? This was supposed to be an admonition, not a reward.” His voice, breathy with lust, shook, and he thrust once as if to punctuate his remark, though he smiled all the same. Her eyes widened at the jolt of his hips, and he sneered. “I know what you want, woman.” His fingers tightened in her hair. “Service me well, and I shall be gracious enough to indulge you.”  
  
The glow of the firelight suddenly grew brighter as her own breathing intensified. Her cheeks hollowed as she drew back, nearly to the tip before plunging down, startling a curse from his lips. She set a rapid pace and his body responded, fucking her mouth with abandon. She pulled her hand from her trousers to brace against his thigh as he growled, thrusting hard enough to jostle her whole body. She felt hard muscle under her hand flex and tense before he pushed her away, spilling hot seed across her cheek and over her low-cut tunic and breasts.  
  
She panted, slumping to the ground as he released her. Her scalp burned and tingled from where he pulled.  
  
Pale lowered himself to his knees and reached for her, bringing her back to her kneeling position and close enough to feel the heat from his body. He smoothed his thumb across her cheek, wiping away the spend he found there and bringing it to her lips. “Show me. How much do you want your reward?”  
  
She took the offered digit into her mouth and sucked, watching his eyes widen for the briefest moment as he sucked in a breath.  
  
His hands went to her hips and his fingers curled into the waistband of her pants, pulling them down along with her smalls in one swift motion. He smoothed his palms over her exposed thighs, sliding one between them to reach her slick folds. He let out breath the moment his finger slid, unimpeded between them. “You’re wet already, I see.” She whimpered as the hand that touched her immediately withdrew. “I think we can do better though.”  
  
He reached up to drag damp fingers slowly across the tops of her breasts, and when he held them up before her, they glistened with his seed. “You see, I _remember_ what you said at the Quicksand, and I could think of no more fitting reward.” He reached down, and she moaned as he slipped them inside. His fingers worked slowly in and out of her, and she heated at the touch of his fluids mingling with her own. He slipped his free arm around her waist holding her close against him as he fucked her with his fingers.  
  
It was slow. It was agony. He bent to kiss her neck, and she shivered, yearning for more. More speed, more pressure… something! Her hips moved in an effort to fulfill her desire.  
  
“So greedy. I’m not so merciful as to give you release so easily.” He lifted his head to whisper in her ear. “ _Now_ I would have you beg.”  
  
She whimpered as his fingers left her. “Pale, please.”  
  
“Tell me what you want.” She didn’t want to say it. _“Tell. Me.”_  
  
“I want your cock.”  
  
He chuckled, deep and low as he pulled her closer, running his length through her slickened cleft. “Be polite.”  
  
Frustration surged through her. “Please, Pale. Give me your cock…”  
  
He laughed again. “No.”  
  
“What? Pale, please. D-don’t leave me like this.” Her voice was different - harsher.. deeper than it should be. A strange sort of panic began to creep up her spine.  
  
He placed his palm flat against her cunt, and his voice took on a wholly sinister tone when next he spoke. “Tas-K’tasza, this needy little body of yours will be your downfall.”

Suddenly the world around them dimmed as the firelight went out and the sounds of the forest ceased. “Wait, h-how did you?”

“I know you… and all your dirty little secrets.” He grinned. “Monster.”

A shrill keening blossomed in the depths of the forest as hundreds of hungry eyes peered out from the darkness. Eyes in the trees, in the earth, in the wind. “No! I’m not-”

“You are. And all you love will be swept away in your wake.”

She screamed.

******************

“Gods damn it, woman!” Pale complained. “I _just_ got to sleep!” Even the chocobo he leaned against looked irritated.

“I-I’m sorry. I had a nightmare.” She dragged herself into a sitting position in her bedroll.

He huffed. “Clearly.”

She trembled and folded her arms around herself, trying to banish the images in her head - those horrible eyes - and the traitorous ache between her thighs.

Pale rolled his eyes and grabbed the wineskin beside him. “Here.” He heaved the skin at her, nearly smacking her in the head before she caught it. “I won’t be so tempted to finish it if you do.”

She blinked at the leathery container in her hands. “Thanks…”

“Don’t thank me just yet. All I want is some sleep, and _apparently_ that is hard to come by with you around.”

Felina muttered as she pulled the stopper. “Usually people say that as a complement.”

“I assure you,” He glowered, “it is not.” He turned away from her as he pillowed his head against his mount’s feathery side. The chocobo trilled its disapproval at her before curling around the Elezen.

She sighed and took a long pull from the skin. Merlot - a good one. The drink warmed her insides as its heady spiciness lingered on her tongue. Her mother would have approved. She watched as Pale dropped off to sleep, hand buried in downy, golden feathers. In some other time, some other place, it might have been endearing. Now, she didn’t know what to think. It didn’t matter anyway. Tomorrow would be the end of it. Her lips curled downward as her ears drooped, and she took another long drink hoping to somehow drown the storm of conflicting emotions that threatened to overtake her.

******************

Pale woke before the dawn. What was left of the fire smoldered at the center of the rough camp. Felina still slept, the wineskin he’d flung at her looked to be drained. She’d likely not be rising anytime soon. He glared at her sleeping form. Why did she have to look so damned pitiful? Even in her sleep, a small crease formed between her brows, and her hands curled into tight little fists.

He thought back to the previous day. How he’d almost taken out his wrath on her…

  
  
  


_As soon as he was out of sight, Pale tore through the forest as quickly as his legs could carry him. He had to get as much distance between them as he could. He was going to be sick._

_He stumbled, tripping over a root and falling to his hands and knees. Bile rose in his throat as the smell of mildew and dead leaves assaulted his senses. His stomach turned, and he vomited onto the forest floor. He panted, struggling for breath as another wave of nausea overcame him. There was nothing more in him though, and he heaved._

_Why had he done that? That wasn’t the kind of man he wanted to be. He swore he wouldn’t be like them. Anyone else in his family would have let her do it - degrade herself for their pleasure. For one burning moment he thought it was what he wanted, and the realization of that feeling left a cold sinking weight in his chest. Maybe he couldn’t escape his family’s legacy after all._

_She’d trembled. She was afraid of him. It didn’t matter what she’d done. No one deserved that. He sat back on his heels, his hands shaking as he reached for a handkerchief to wipe the sick from his mouth. There was no way he could stay with this group - with her. Tomorrow he’d make his report, he’d leave, and that would be the end of it._

  
  
  


As ruby light filtered through the trees, he forced himself to look at her and let out a sharp breath. It had to be done. This had to end. He stood, rousing his chocobo, and fished a pencil and a small leather-bound journal from its packs. He opened it, flipping to the last page. At the very least…

******************

It was mid-morning when Felina awoke to her chocobo’s nudging and insistent whistles. “Ok. Ok…” she yawned, shoving the bird’s beak away.

Pale was gone, leaving only the smoldering ashes of last night's fire and the wineskin he’d tossed at her. She reached over to collect the skin, and noticed a folded paper underneath. What?

She unfolded the note and read the flowing script.

  


_For what it’s worth, I’m sorry too._  
-Pale 

  


Her eyes widened as she stared down at the note before leaping up and scrambling for her pack. She grabbed her journal and retrieved a similar note, written in the same hand. A note she’d found one morning when she’d awoken at a strange inn… after a night she couldn’t remember…

  


_Please don't be afraid. You are safe…_

  


Her hand came up to cover her mouth. “Holy shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to converse, conspire, and collaborate with fellow FFXIV writers and artists, check out  
> [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/8C6ZKTj)
> 
> [Chapter Title and Inspiration playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLeP6w042RhSMosRqBu47vhRqsqb93IFC2)


	11. The Archer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A slow ride back to Gridania finds Pale in the middle of hostile territory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Violence, tiny bit of gore (not a lot)

Sunlight and shadow warred beneath the Shroud’s canopy as steely clouds floated farther overhead. In the distance, a faint rumble shuddered on the wind. The day had started off warm, but now a creeping chill pricked the skin of Pale’s arms. Ahead, a brook rushed on, and the Elezen dismounted his chocobo and led it over. 

His mouth set into a grim line. He hardly needed to water the bird again, but he’d found himself oddly unhurried in his journey back to Gridania. Felina had not left his mind since the moment he set out this morning. The doleful pinch of her face in the early morning light drew him up short, and for a breath of a moment, his irritation had melted away. He wandered upstream of his mount, unscrewing the cap of his canteen and bent to refill the container. 

A glint. A shadow of movement reflected in the water, and his blood ran cold. He snatched the lance from its holder across his back and whirled, bracing the weapon against the jarring crack of the enemy’s spear. 

The Ixal screamed its war cry, echoed immediately by several more in the distance. Pale’s muscles strained against the downward force as he fought to push the bird-man back. This was bad. Very, very bad. He rose, forcing the spear back and kicking the Ixal squarely in the chest, sending it reeling backwards. A forceful swing of his lance and the attacker’s skull cracked, crumpling the enemy to the ground.

A second Ixal burst from the foliage, charging with frightening speed toward him. Adrenaline surged through his veins as his right foot slid back, lowering him into a defensive stance. As the creature closed in, the end of his lance snapped up, striking the creature’s jaw, sending it staggering to the side while the pointed end of Pale’s weapon drove down into its ribs. 

More enemies closed in as he pulled the bloody lance from the Ixal’s side. His heart pounded in his throat, and he swallowed the feeling down as he struggled to remember his training. He spun his lance around him, forcing the encroaching attackers to stop short. He gathered his aether, concentrating it into his legs and leaped toward the largest cluster of enemies. He landed, releasing the aether in a white hot burst, flinging the clustered bird-men away. 

As he straightened, a guttural scream split the air, and Pale turned to see the largest Ixal he’d ever laid eyes on. It’s feathers stood like ruby spines along its arms. It carried an axe on its back but had yet to draw it, instead eyeing the Elezen in the way a cat watches a mouse. The giant approached, wading through the rushing stream toward him. Behind him a sound of rushing wind caught his ear, and he lept just as a wall of concentrated wind crashed into him, hurling him backwards into the air.

The large Ixal grabbed his ankle as he sailed overhead, yanking him out of the air to slam, headlong into the water. Stars burst before his eyes as he sucked in a breath full of cold water.  _ Fuck! _ He struggled to his knees, coughing the water from his lungs as he scrambled to retreat.

A heavy, taloned foot came down between his shoulder blades, and his elbows buckled under the weight. He gasped, pushing back in a desperate struggle to keep his head above water, but the enemy leaned down, pressing more of its weight against the Elezen’s battered and reeling body.

The Ixal warrior squawked with laughter as its companions screeched encouragement from the banks. He had to gather his aether - make a push to escape this demon somehow. Pale’s back seized and convulsed as he coughed, his body struggling to rid him of the water he’d inhaled, the effort robbing him of his strength and concentration.

His arms trembled and gave under the pressure, and his head slipped back under the water. The muck of the stream’s bottom squished up between his fingers as he fought to push himself up. He was nothing to this thing - an annoyance at best. What in hell was this beast? He gathered his aether into his hands and strained up against the giant Ixal in desperation. His head broke the water’s surface, and he managed to suck in breath before the foot in his back stomped him back under. 

The laughter above him continued as he struggled against the monster’s strength, and time seemed to slow as horror gripped him. He couldn’t get up. This thing was going to drown him in barely three feet of water. He scrambled, his knees scraping against buried riverstone as they slipped out from under him, and he sank deeper into the murk. His lungs felt like they might burst as he fought the urge to exhale and draw in another breath, knowing that only water would rush in to fill the space. It couldn’t end this way. Fury, have mercy. Please-

A tortured scream rang out above him, and the weight on his back disappeared. He surged up from the water, blinking and dragging in a desperate breath. What?!

He turned to see the giant toppled backwards with an arrow buried in its eye socket. Another projectile whistled past to strike down another Ixal warrior and wound another. Confusion broke out in the remaining enemies as a volley of aether arrows peppered the battlefield. A sound not unlike that of a wild cat rang out from the treeline, raising the hair on the back of Pale’s neck as a blonde Miqo’te woman sprang from concealment to rush the Ixal who deigned to stand their ground. 

_ Felina! _

She halted long enough to draw, bending her body into the elegant form of a practiced archer as she sang out, her verse rippling the air and sinking into his bones. He staggered to his feet, blood burning and hope renewed. She loosed her arrow, and he bent, snatching up his forgotten lance from the muddy water. He fell, panting, back into a fighting stance and rushed the nearest Ixal warriors, downing them before they could properly take in the turn of the battle. He lept again, slamming his lance into the ground and scattering the last cluster of Ixal with a blast somehow more potent than the last as the bard song rang in his veins. 

He turned, rushing to the bard’s side, spearing an attacker on his lance who had managed to dodge her arrows. He screamed in triumph as the final enemy slumped to the ground before him. He turned toward the bard, a breath of thanks on his lips when pain bloomed in his thigh, buckling his legs, and sinking him to his knees. An arrow bit deep into his muscle, causing a cold sweat to break out over his forehead. “Felina!” Her name sprang to his lips - a desperate warning.

She turned, bow drawn, seeking their attacker. Her eyes found their target, perched high in a tree and trained her sights in on the enemy archer. She raised the bow and screamed out as the Ixal’s arrow sank into her drawing shoulder sending her arrow flying wide. 

“No!” Pale cried as his lance flew from his hand, skewering the enemy straight through the midsection. The Ixal wavered for a fraction of a moment and fell.

  
  


**************************

  
  


The sky rumbled with thunder as they limped down the road, and the air was thick with the scent of impending rain. The chocobos had fled, presumably to the nearest settlement as they had been trained to do, and they themselves had made haste to leave the site of the battle before they drew any more attention to themselves. They had stopped only long enough to snap the arrow shafts buried in them to keep them from bumping or catching on anything. 

Now, Pale leaned heavily on Felina’s good shoulder though each jostling step sent pain shooting through the other. He seemed to be surprised she could support his weight at all, much less with an Ixal’s arrow in her, but she’d always been stronger than she looked. They had made it a good way down the road, but pain and exhaustion was rapidly wearing them down. 

In the distance, Felina spotted some stone ruins not far off the main road. “Hey.” She tossed her head in the direction of the old structures.

Pale nodded with a breathy “Yeah” as his only response, and the two of them changed direction, angling their way to the broken stone building. 

One wall had collapsed, but the partial overhang of the roof would serve as enough of a shelter for the time being. They hobbled to the far corner, and Felina knelt, easing the Elezen to the floor before sagging down to the stone tiles herself. She closed her eyes as the mossy stone wall pressed against her back. 

To her right, the sound of buckles and sliding leather drew her attention. She peeked through lowered lids to watch Pale as he removed his gauntlets and worked loose the straps on his chestpiece. He pulled off the sodden armor before peeling a drenched tunic from his skin. Leaning forward he wrung the shirt with the twisting flex of wrist and forearm and spread it on a fallen chunk of wall at his side. Swaths of darkening red bruises marred the fair skin of his back. That giant Ixal had done a number on him, though she supposed he was lucky it hadn’t broken his back. 

He turned toward her, and imploring ice blue eyes caught her own. Her cheeks heated as her gaze slid away, and she cleared her throat. “So how’s your leg?”

“It’s not bleeding at least. Your shoulder?”

She winced as a thob of pain reminded her exactly how deep the arrow bit. “About the same. I’ll be fine once we get to a healer. We got lucky, you know.”

“ _ I _ got lucky.” Surprise washed over her, and she looked up to see the somber set of his mouth as he stared down at her. He broke the gaze almost as soon as their eyes met though, and he stared out into the forest outside the collapsed section of wall. “If you hadn’t shown up when you did…” He frowned. “Thank you.”

She blushed at the sincerity in his voice. “You don’t have to thank me. I would have done it for anyone. Although...” She reached into a pouch, retrieving a pair of folded notes and holding them out to him. He looked down, eyes widening as he took the papers from her, unfolding them and sighing. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He frowned down at the notes. “I didn’t want you to think I’d... taken advantage of you.”

“Why would you think I’d accuse you of such a thing?”

His gaze hardened as he stared out at some far distant spot. Silence stretched between them, but as she opened her mouth, he finally spoke. “It’s happened before.”

She blinked.  _ Oh. _ “I promise… I never thought that.” He let out a long sigh, running his hands through his hair. “So, what happened, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“I was young and stupid. The girl I was… passing time with decided her reputation was more important than my innocence when her father caught us together.”

“So he believed her story over yours?”

“Let’s just say my family has a reputation. My guilt was confirmed as soon as he saw who I was.”

Her heart sank at the bitterness in his voice. “I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. “It is what it is.”

Felina reached out a tentative hand to him when beastial scream pierced the air that sent a shiver down her spine. She glanced at Pale, but he only shook his head. Leaning on her good arm, she got to her feet, creeping over to the edge of the crumbling wall and peered around the side. Her heart nearly stopped and she fell back, scrambling away from the wall.

“What is it?” Pale hissed.

Felina panted, trying to get hold of her nerves. “Th-that huge Ixal… It’s out there.”

“That’s not possible! You put an arrow through its eye!”

“No shit! I remember!” She pinned him with a stare. “If it finds us…”

Pale swallowed. They’d left his weapon in their haste to retreat. “Get your bow and come here.”

“I can’t draw with this shoulder-”

“I’ll draw for you.” He leaned forward. “I just need you to aim.”

Felina’s lips parted wordlessly. It was the only realistic choice they had. Running was out of the question in their condition, and their cover was dubious at best. “Ok.”

She grabbed her bow and settled herself between his legs. “Grasp the bow here and nock the arrow.” She adjusted his hands like her own instructors had taught her. 

Lightning flashed above the Shroud’s canopy, and beyond the wall, a screech echoed closer than she could have expected. Fear knotted in her belly as she struggled to remain focused on her task. She placed her hand over Pale’s where he held the bow and trained her eyes on the landscape ahead. Her heart raced, threatening to throw off her aim, and she took several slow breaths in an effort to master herself. “Gather your aether and channel it into the arrow. We have to make this shot count. We likely won’t get another.” 

He nodded over her shoulder. He felt steady and solid seated behind her, but she could feel the pounding of his heart against her back and his shaking breath on her neck. She breathed aether into the bow and spread it along the arrow to join with Pale’s, vibrating in fearful, deadly harmony. She’d never heard the like, but a hulking, feathered body appeared just beyond the collapsed wall before she could give it another thought. 

The creature dragged a breath through its beak as it sampled the air and immediately swiveled its head, with its gruesome wound, toward them. The horror before them should not have lived, and Felina’s eyes widened as terror dried her throat. Her voice cracked as she whispered. “Draw...”

The creature screamed and charged. Aether surged through her body from behind as Pale pulled back on the bowstring, and she moved the bow into position. “LOOSE!” 

The arrow flew, a fiery brand exploding as it slammed the monster squarely in the chest, sending it hurtling backwards with the force of the blow. White fire bloomed from the arrow’s wound, and the creature rasped a final primal screech before collapsing to the ground, shattering into evaporating motes of light. 

Felina panted as she watched the body of the giant creature gradually disappear. The clouds cracked overhead as rain began to fall softly to the forest floor as if to wash away the horror of what she had just witnessed. “W-what was that thing?”

Pale lowered the bow, and it clattered to the floor as he let out a held breath. His forehead pressed against the back of her head as he slumped down around her. “I don’t know.”

His breath heated the back of her neck as they sat in silence. After a time she became aware of a trembling, and looked down to find her hands shaking. Strong arms were looped around her midsection, and she idly wondered how long they had been sitting this way. Pale lifted his head, leaning back against the wall behind him, and gently pulled her along with him.

A small gasp escaped her throat at the movement. “I can move… if you want.”

“No.” A hand came up to smooth across her forehead, pressing her back against him. Her body tensed against his pull but quickly relaxed with the soft whisper of his voice. “It’s easier on your shoulder to lean against me.” 

She let out a breath and leaned fully back against him, willing her body to relax as much as possible. His skin was chilled where she touched it, and gooseflesh rose along the arms that settled back around her. She reached up, tentatively, with her good arm to chafe along his cold flesh. He sighed, and his arms tightened around her. She laughed quietly. “You could have just said you were cold.”

A small chuckle escaped him. “Ridiculous.”

A smile crooked the side of her mouth. “Mhm.”

An easy silence settled around them as she rubbed warmth back into his arms where she could manage. The rain’s patter lulled her into a sort of trance as she watched the landscape dim under the falling droplets. Ozone freshened the air and the throbbing in her shoulder eased as she leaned into him. 

His hand settled over her own as his skin warmed under her touch. “Thank you. You should rest until the rain lets up. You’ll have a hard enough time getting to the next settlement in this state.”

She turned as much as her injury would allow. “You’re coming with me.”

He shook his head. “I’ll slow you down too much.”

“But who will draw my bow?” 

He opened his mouth and then closed it. 

“We’re a team, right?”

He was silent for a long time, staring down at the chipped stone floor. 

“Right?”

He heaved a sigh and met her eyes, holding them with a growing determination. “Right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to converse, conspire, and collaborate with fellow FFXIV writers and artists, check out  
> [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/8C6ZKTj)
> 
> [Chapter Title and Inspiration playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLeP6w042RhSMosRqBu47vhRqsqb93IFC2)


	12. Angel of the Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pale and Felina make their way back to Gridania with a new set of worries.

The wagon trundled down the road through the heart of the Black Shroud. Shafts of mid-afternoon light peeking through stretched canvas dappled the protected the cargo area. A pair of figures hunched silently together, tucked away among rocking crates and earthy sacks. The heavy blanket tucked around them kept out the chill of the rain-freshened air, but beneath the fabric, cradled gingerly against him, the Miqo’te woman was what truly warmed Pale. 

For a mercy, a travelling merchant had found them as they hobbled down the road and picked them up. They had loaded into the back and, without much thought or discussion, had adopted the same position they had back at the ruins. 

A bump in the road jostled a whimper from Felina’s throat, and Pale gritted his teeth against the pain as his hands tightened reflexively on her middle. “Sorry.”

She shook her head. “You didn’t hurt me. Just this damned road.”

He exhaled, and his back untensed. She had not commented when his arms settled around her earlier. It was simply the most comfortable place for them after all. The body propped against him nothing more than something to bear down upon when the intermittent stabs of pain stole his breath. She was merely the closest thing to hold onto. And blessedly  _ warm _ .

Her hair tickled his nose, and he took a long breath. He couldn’t say she smelled good - to be fair, neither one of them did. She smelled of violence - dirt and blood and sweat - but somewhere beneath all that was the hint of May winds rustling through the grass and the promise of summertime. He twitched away, blinking and shoved the musings to the back of his mind. 

“How are you faring?” 

She shifted against him. “Okay, all things considered. Dreading having this thing yanked out of me.” 

Pale wasn’t sure that’s how arrow wounds were dealt with, but he couldn’t deny a certain anxiety at the thought. “It should feel better afterwards though.”

She sighed. “I know. Honestly, I’m more worried about those crystals.” She was quiet for a time. “We’re not going to become monsters, are we?”

A shiver that had nothing to do with the cold coursed through his body. “No. The conjurers will know what to do.” 

Before leaving the ruins, they had found a pair of sky blue crystals where the giant Ixal’s body fell. The shards glowed as they approached, drops of rain clinging to the facets throwing little rainbows against the nearby stones as the crystals rose from the ground. They floated forward shining brighter as they approached almost as if they  _ sensed _ the two of them. A hum emanated from the crystals that vibrated in rhythm with their heartbeats and thrummed through their bodies. Before they could react, the crystals flashed enveloping them in light and dissolving into their bodies. The energy of the joining had bolstered them enough to make their way to the road despite their exhaustion. 

Even now, the light inside him pulsed as if in response to his thoughts. “We have the Padjal. The Ixal do not.”

The fingers of her good hand tightened against his forearm. “You’re right. I guess it’s best not to think about it too much. Anyway, how are  _ you  _ doing?”

He inclined his head toward her. “Well, I’m presently clutching the woman who has tormented me relentlessly this past week. So, frankly, I can't really tell if I’m better or worse.”

She coughed out an indignant breath, and her ear flicked against cheek with a thump. “Well, I  _ could  _ go sit somewhere else.”

He chuckled at the response. “But will you?”   
  
“Do you want me to?” He was silent. The wagon creaked beneath him - practically heckling - and it was her turn to laugh. “That’s what I thought.”

The wagon hit another bump, jarring a yelp from her. Pale’s thigh throbbed in response, and he cringed, arms flexing around her again. “I think my brain is addled from exhaustion.”

“Hah-” She panted with stuttering breaths. “For that remark, I think I’m going to make you hold me for the remainder of this trip.”

“Hmph.” He pulled her tighter against him. “Best get comfortable then.” 

  


****************

  


Hushed murmurs and quiet footsteps were the first things that drew Felina from the mire of sleep, followed closely by the sharp smell of astringent concoctions and dried herbs. The mattress squeaked and sank beneath the weight of another body settling beside her, and her eyes fluttered open. “Kam.”

Warm brown eyes met her own with a smile. “Good morning. How are you feeling?”

“Ok, I guess.” Felina turned her head, taking in the rows of cots and the quietly bustling conjurers. That’s right, they’d been brought to the healing wards the evening before. 

She blushed at the memory of Kam climbing up into the wagon to find her ensconced among the cargo with the Elezen. By the look on his face, one might have thought he’d walked in on a secret liaison. In truth, somewhere along the journey, in the midst of her own restless squirming, Pale’s fingers had slipped into the gap between her top and her trousers. She hadn’t said a word, instead savoring the single point of connection as his fingers flexed idly against the curve of her waist. It had been… strangely comforting as well as a welcome distraction from the pain, and she leaned her temple companionably against his cheek as she fell in and out of a doze. When Kam had found them though, she couldn’t help the flash of guilt that washed over her as Pale’s hand flitted away beneath the blanket’s cover. 

The ghost of his palm sliding against her skin followed her down into a more comfortable, healing sleep. Now awaking to another man's gaze, she felt strangely self conscious, as if he could somehow know the warm direction her dreams took.

Her cheeks heated under his scrutiny, and her voice rasped out from a suddenly dry throat. "I'm pretty thirsty."

Kam nodded and reached for a cup on the bedside table. “I thought you would be.” He handed it over, already filled. 

Felina stared down into the water, a smile pulling at the side of her mouth. “You always seem to know just what I need.”

He grinned in triumph. “I live to serve.”

She took a swallow of the water. It was cool, soothing her parched throat. “Speaking of…” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Pale and I really need an audience with the Padjal… soon. Do you think you can pull some strings for me?”

Kam swallowed, and somewhere across the room, a bedside tray clattered to the floor. “What makes you think I’ve got that kind of pull?”

She looked up at him from under the fan of her lashes and sighed, gracing him with a half smile. “The same reason you knew about Pale’s interview.” 

Across the way, an apprentice attended to the mess from the dropped tray. Kam’s shoulders sank, and a rush of hot breath left his throat. “Yeah… ok. I’ll set something up.”

Felina reached out and squeezed his hand. “Hey. I’m glad for you. It’s a real honor to get a special forces designation.”

“I’d rather be with you.” He offered her a weak smile, and suddenly, all she wanted to do was hug the pitiful Hyur. 

“I know.” She reached out with her good arm, pulling him closer. She hadn’t wanted things to go the way they did, but it was clear now they had to play with the hand they were dealt.

“You can’t tell anyone.”

“Of course. You’ve always kept  _ my _ secrets. How could I do any less?” She smoothed the dark red tresses she always admired away from his face.

He smiled, then, leaning into her touch and met her eyes with growing concern. “So, why do you need to see the Padjal? What happened?”

Her smile disappeared with a shiver. “I don’t know, but I’m worried…” 

  


****************

  


Deep in the quiet hollows, tucked beneath the Conjurer’s Guild, the air smelled of wood and earth and moss. The room where they waited was illuminated by golden, glowing lamps placed along the walls while a larger, more ephemeral light hung as mist suspended from the domed ceiling. The walls glinted here and there with traces of quartz that caught the light, and lush moss clung to the stone near the crystal veins as if reaching for that same light. The table set in the middle of the room looked to be carved of the same wood that creaked beneath Felina’s feet as she paced.

Pale’s brow twitched as she passed over the same groaning board for the millionth time. “You need to  _ sit down _ .”

“Shut it, Keles. I told you, I don’t want to be down here.”

“Your damnable  _ pacing _ is not helping matters.”

“Says you!” Her arm rested in a sling intended to keep her shoulder stable. He couldn’t imagine her incessant marching about was good for it. 

Kam cleared his throat. “Felina, I hate to say it, but he’s right. The healers said you need to rest. I had a hard enough time persuading them to even allow you out of bed.” Pale rolled his eyes as the Hyur patted the chair next to him. “Come on, sit next to me.” Why the red-headed hanger-on had to accompany her to this meeting was beyond him.

“I can’t! This place is too quiet. It’s like being buried alive!” She panted, chest nearly heaving. 

Pale couldn’t tell if it was from exertion or nerves, but either way she was doing herself no favors. 

“Why the hell did the Padjal insist on  _ this _ place?!”

“This is a grounding chamber.” E-Sumi-Yan’s steady, calming presence seemed to permeate the room the moment he stepped inside the quiet meeting chamber. “Whether you can tell it or not, it is having the intended effect.”

Felina halted, finally, and sat as the Seedseer gestured toward an empty chair. “I don’t  _ feel _ grounded.” Kam closed his fingers around her shaking hand, and she held on, knuckles going white.

The Padjal smiled, the facade of youth overlaid with a patience of a man decades older and wiser. “No, but your crystals are.” He gestured at Kam. “Your companion told me of your encounter with the Ixal and the crystals you found upon its defeat. Will you bring them forth for me?”

Pale closed his eyes and breathed, summoning the softly pulsing crystal into his hand, the first hint of apprehension coloring his voice.. “We can’t get rid of them. They just absorb back into our bodies. We don’t want to become like… that thing.”

E-Sumi-Yan nodded, stepping closer to examine the crystals he and Felina held forth. His silver eyes studied the crystals with the sureness that only long years of communing with the Elementals imparted. After what felt like a lifetime, he straightened with a bemused expression. “The crystals you bear  _ were _ corrupted, but no longer. They will do you no harm. They may even be a source of power for you. A blessing of Hydaelyn.” 

Pale let out a breath, noting with vague irritation the way Kam squeezed Felina’s hand and her own breathless sigh of relief. 

The Seedseer continued. “Interesting enough, though, it seems these were once the same crystal. Whatever you did to purify it, broke it in two shards that now resonate with each other. What did you do?”

Felina looked over at him for a beat before turning back to the Padjal. “I was injured, so I had him draw my bow while I aimed at the monster. We knew we only had one shot to kill it, so we both put our aether into the arrow, and it just… disintegrated the thing.”

E-Sumi-Yan’s studied gaze watched them alternately for long moments. “I see. You were fortunate. That sort of aether synergy is rare.” He looked like he might say more, but decided otherwise. “In any case, you’ve no reason to worry over it. That said, if you feel any concern, you are welcome to call on me again.”

Pale’s brows raised at that. The Padjal were known to be quite busy with their duties. That sort of invitation was a rarity in itself. 

Felina scooted her chair back and gave a deep bow, grimacing a bit as her shoulder shifted. “Thank you, Seedseer. I am both honored and relieved.”

E-Sumi-Yan’s small nod and smile was exactly the dismissive gesture Felina needed. She barely managed some semblance of propriety as she strode to get back above ground, Kam trailing behind in her wake. Pale leaned heavily on the table as he rose, grabbing the crutch he was silently grateful the healers insisted he use. 

The Seedseer lifted a staying hand, and he sat back down. “I am aware that your solitary posting in Limsa Lominsa was denied in favor of the synergy you showed with that young woman during the trial in Tam Tara.”

Pale frowned and nodded. He had not wanted to be part of a squad if he could help it.

“Your instructors were wise in making the choice. There’s much more you stand to learn from the assignment you received than the one you wanted.”

Pale frowned. “If you say so.” 

His tone of respectful disagreement did not go unnoticed. “You failed the magical proficiency tests here. What made you think the arcanists would accept you?”

Pale’s fist tightened on the crutch in his hand, his eyes narrowing to meet the Padjal’s cool gaze. “Maybe they have different requirements.”

“They do. Once the  _ base  _ requirements are met, and you do not have the proficiency.” His lips quirked. “Yet.”

“Yet?”

“For everything there is a season. The season of your magic will be hard earned if it is to come at all. For now, your energy is best spent on honing your will. It is my understanding that there is no better way to do so than following the path of the dragoon.”

Pale’s frown deepened into a scowl. “I don’t- I don’t want this!” His voice cracked, and his palm pressed absently against his chest as he struggled to master himself once more. “It’s… painful.” 

E-Sumi-Yan’s gaze softened. “You are not without my sympathy. However, if it is magic you want, your current assignment places you squarely on that path.” He gave the Elezen a significant look. “Especially when it comes to  _ her _ .”

Pale’s eyes widened as he gazed back at the old soul behind those eerie silver eyes. “What do you mean?”

The Padjal merely nodded. “You will see.”

  


****************

  


The East side of Gridiania could hardly be called fancy by any means. Outside the small abode shared by Kam and Glass Willow, washerwomen gossiped as they gathered the day’s work together. Miners and loggers called out to one another as they trudged through the gate out into the Black Shroud. 

Within, Felina stretched across the narrow bed. The healers had released her almost a week ago and cleared her for duty. She rolled over to peer over the side of the bed at the pile of blankets on the floor that made up Kam’s “bed.” She couldn’t decide whether she should be amused or irritated. “I said I was fine. We can share a bed by now, you know.”

Kam blinked up at her, yawning and stretching his stiff back. “I didn’t want to crowd you with that shoulder of yours.”

“I told you, my shoulder’s fine. Please,  _ crowd me _ .”

He laughed, and crawled up into bed, the mattress springs whining with every movement. The curtain that served as a makeshift door, fluttered as footsteps padded by.

“Oi! It’s a little early for hanky panky, don’t you think, guys?” 

“We’re not  _ doing _ anything, Glass!” She mouthed the word “yet” up at the Hyur, and he raised a brow.

“Uh huh.”

The floor creaked beneath the Roe’s tread as she made her way from the closet across the hall that held her bunk. She always insisted she didn’t need more room than that. Whenever Felina would ask, she’d simply reply that she didn’t  _ live _ in her bed, and she certainly wasn’t bringing anyone back to this dump. The warrior woman had served on a ship some years ago, so Felina supposed that’s where she had developed the strange preference.

Felina guided Kam’s hand to her breast and let out a silent puff of breath when squeezed. 

“You’re sure?” he whispered. She gave a pleading nod, and he cleared his throat. “Hey, Glass. You know what sounds good right about now? Some croissants from that little bakery in New Gridania. You know, the ones with the rolanberry filling…"

"You don't even like rolanberries."

Felina’s teeth bit into her lower lip as Kam pressed a kiss to her collarbone. "Yeah, but Felina does. After all she's been through lately, I think she deserves a treat." The hot breath of those last words sent goose flesh down the side of her body, and she barely suppressed a moan.

"Really, now? And I suppose I'm to go fetch them?"

"You wouldn't mind, would you? I've got some gil stashed in the cupboard. Take it and get yourself whatever you like."

A deep sigh and a shuffle of feet lumbered through the relative silence of the front room. "Fine. I'll be back in an hour _. _ " The jingle of retrieved coin punctuated her statement.

"Thank you, Glass!" Felina called out as she tugged Kam’s tunic over his head.

" _ One hour,  _ you two." The bedroom’s curtain-door fluttered in the breeze as the front door growled on its hinges and closed with a bang.

A giggle bubbled at Felina’s lips. "Do you think we fooled her?"

His answering grin was practically wolfish. "Not in the slightest." He leaned down, pressing a hot kiss to her mouth which she accepted with equal fervor. He pulled back just as she found herself needing a breath. “Top or bottom?”

“Top.” 

He reached down, stripping off her smalls and shifted the two of them with a familiar efficiency, pulling her up and astride him. 

She ran her fingers from his muscled belly to his chest, leaning down on her palms to kiss him again. He smoothed his palms down along her sides and across her bare hips and thighs. They felt so good on her skin. She hadn’t realized how much she needed to be touched. 

His hands trailed back up to rest at the curved hollow of her waist, and her memory flew back to another hand that had touched her there. She pulled back with a sharp gasp and sat up, breathless, looking down at the sun-browned man beneath her. At his warm smile, her body relaxed, and her heart settled into a steady rhythm. “Kam…”

Gauzy window curtains spread morning light across her back, spilling its filtered rays over her shoulders and around her body. Motes of dust hung twinkling and suspended around her. The Hyur below her stared up from the shadow she cast.

“You look like an angel. You even have a halo.” 

Felina smiled though a note of seriousness colored her voice. “I’m hardly an angel.”

Kam touched the fingers spread across his chest. “You are to me, sweet Lina.”

Her cheeks heated, but even so she straightened, pulling the soft sleep shirt over her head, baring herself before those molten brown eyes. “And now?”

“Even sweeter.”

A smile pulled at the edge of her lips, and she reached between her legs to tug down the front of his smalls. “We’ll see about that.”

The gasp she drew from his throat as she wrapped her hand around the hard member spread the smile fully across her face. She pulled her hand up the warm length, pleased to see his eyes close as he gave himself over to her ministrations. She pressed her body forward, the bed springs squeaking as she ground against his shaft, reveling in the delicious ache of need that built as she slid him against her folds. 

Kam’s head tipped back with a groan, and she sighed with satisfaction at the bead of fluid that ran down his length. “I’ve needed this. I’ve needed you, Kam.”   
  
“Felina…” His hands gripped her thighs, a silent plea for more, and she assented, rising on her knees and guiding him to her entrance.

She eased herself down slowly until she settled flush against his thighs with a heady “Ahhh…”. He filled her as warmly and gently as the sunlight spreading across her naked back, and she trembled from the sweet pleasure of it all.

The worn mattress beneath them whined a steady rhythm as she rode him. His hands smoothed up her ribs to cup her breasts, and her breath and movements stuttered as he grazed a thumb across a hardened nipple. She ground down against him, and his answering moan urged her faster. 

The bedframe creaked, straining against the ungentle motions of a couple too preoccupied to hear it. Felina panted as pleasure coursed through her, pulling her to an undeniable fervor. This is what she needed. These hands on her breasts. This heat buried deep inside her. The wailing rush of sensation. His thumb pressed against her clit in just the right way to send her hurtling over the pinnacle of desire.

She cried out, not caring if anyone heard them through the thin walls of the ramshackle abode, and below her Kam arched himself deeper inside her as he too tumbled over the precipice. A loud crack and suddenly the world seemed to fall out beneath her, and she fell forward with a jolt.

When she opened her eyes, the mattress sat on the floor and the headboard sagged at an angle against the wall. Shocked silence permeated the room until the man below her began to shake with suppressed laughter.

“Well, shit.” Kam burst out into laughter, carrying her into a fit of giggles as she slumped against his chest. “There goes my security deposit.”

Tears leaked from her eyes at the absurdity of the situation. “I’m sorry!”

Kam laughed as he pushed her up to look into his eyes. “It was totally worth it.” He grinned, and somehow, her whole body felt unaccountably lighter.


	13. The Sound of Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pale and Felina's twin crystal shards are still a source of anxiety, but what could they possibly do about them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a long time since I posted. Life interfered a lot with my writing, so thank you to everyone for you patience!
> 
> Much thanks to HawkSong for collaborating and allowing me the use of her character, Nightbird.  
> You can see more of her work here: [HawkSong](/users/HawkSong/)

The Gridanian morning arrived, crisp and breezy as golden sunlight filtered down from the canopy above. The air smelled of a Spring verdance that masked the less pleasant odors of the city. As large as the city-state was, it somehow maintained a village-like atmosphere, close and congenial as long as one didn’t venture too far into its rougher edges. 

Pale took a deep lungful of air, grateful to get away from the barracks before too many people found reason to pester him. The healers had prescribed walks to keep the site of his injury strong and flexible, and this time in particular, he felt obliged to be a good patient. He turned his steps in the direction of Apkallu Falls when a voice rang out.

“Oi! Pale!”

He let out a sigh, angling his eyes toward the canopy and silently cursing Nophica before turning to meet the lively Roegadyn woman. “Glass Willow… what a surprise.”

She jogged up grinning like an absolute fool. “I know, right? What are the odds!”

He’d like to think those odds were slim, but he supposed that didn’t matter at this point anyway. Unlike the people back at the barracks, this one he was stuck with for the next year. He adopted his best amused expression though she didn’t seem to notice one way or the other.

“I’m heading over to the Sunny Harvest, how about I treat you to breakfast?!” She grinned, holding up a leather gil purse.

He raised a brow. Really, all he wanted was a nice walk this morning, not to spend it with Felina’s partner in crime. “Alright, then.”  _ Wait. What?  _ Since when did his stomach dictate his decisions? 

“That’s the spirit! It’s a bit of a clip from here, you don’t mind the walk, do ya?” She didn’t wait for his answer and neither did his legs as they hurried to catch up to her lively strides.

“I don’t suppose so.”  _ Do I? _ It was hard to tell anymore.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The morning was perfect for enjoying the outdoor dining area of the Sunny Harvest cafe as soft warming breezes carried the scent of baked goods out to milling passerbys, small birds and squirrels scavenged around empty dining tables while the braver ones vied for the attention of casual diners. The atmosphere was wholly worthy of any quaint kitchen, and that same warm feeling managed to stretch out into the rustling grass and trees as customers eased themselves into the day.

A fat, chattering critter caught Pale’s attention, and he tossed it a crumble of biscuit, smiling with satisfaction as it scurried forward to snatch it up. He straightened, drawn by the savory smells wafting up from the large breakfast platter in front of him as Glass Willow tucked into her own with a fiendish sort of delight that gave him pause. He regarded the stack of pastry-filled boxes sitting like a third companion in the chair beside them and, for a moment, wondered if she would have bought breakfast for it, if it had asked. 

She stopped long enough to notice his gaze and gestured to the box on top. “That one’s yours, by the way.”

His eyes widened. “I really don’t need all this…”

“Nonsense! You’ve been through a lot lately. You deserve a treat.” She smiled, looking much like the cat who had caught the canary.

“Hm.” Pale took a bite of his bacon, and studied her as she returned to her breakfast. She was an odd one to be sure, but he got the feeling she wasn’t just doing all this out of the kindness of her heart. What did she want from him?

She glanced up at him over her eggs. “You and Felina really did run the gauntlet, didn’t you? She told us what happened with the Ixal. And about that…” She tapped her sternum.

He didn’t particularly feel like sharing his thoughts on the matter with Glass Willow and simply nodded.

For once the Roe seemed to get the hint and didn’t push for more. “Felina didn’t want to talk about it either.” She shrugged and took a bite of her eggs.

Pale felt the pulse inside his chest, gentler now since the grounding chamber. He wasn’t sure if he would ever get used to the sensation and wondered if Felina’s crystal still bothered her as well. Last time he saw her she had been upset, and he didn’t blame her. He’d played that moment back in his head so many times now...

  
~~~~~  


He watched her lover leave the healing wards just as the apprentices came to pull the privacy curtains for the evening. The Hyur had spent the past days at her side distracting the restless bard and wrangling her to bed when she sought to wander, ignoring the healer’s instructions to stay put. 

From his corner, far across the room, he’d made a game of counting the number of times she left her bed. A page of his journal held tallies, one column for attempts and one for successes. Of course he adjusted daily totals for potential trips to the privy and calculated the next day’s wanderings based on her lessening discomfort and growing energy. Bets with himself were scribbled in the margins. She’d nearly hit the mark for successes today.

The full moon and a stuttering street lamp outside his window afforded him more evening hours to read, but before indulging with the new book Nightbird had lent him, he hurried to finish up with tomorrow’s projections. He was in the middle of scribbling his notes when his bedside curtain fluttered.

His lips parted as the subject of his daily amusements padded over to his bedside, arm still cradled in its sling. “Hi.”   
  
He tilted the journal toward himself. “One moment.” He added another mark to the ‘successes’ column, and allowed himself a self satisfied smile. “So, what  _ finally _ brings you over here?”

Her cheeks reddened and her eyes slid away to study the dull blue privacy curtains. “I didn’t want to bother you.” 

He watched her face as she shifted from foot to foot. A seed of truth lay buried somewhere in her pretense, but rather than probe further, he let the point drop with a sigh. “What is it?”

She lowered herself to the chair at his bedside, scooting it close so her whisper would carry. “I was wondering… Your crystal… d-does it vibrate?” Her fingers curled against her chest, almost a reflexive response.

He had tried hard to ignore it, even after E-Sumi-Yan’s assurances. The thing inside him flared to life with even the slightest acknowledgement, as if seeking for his attention, and now, with  _ her _ inquiry, it seemed to spring ever more readily to life. “It’s usually more of a pulse to me, but yes.”

Her brows knit, and she leaned in closer, drawing a heavy pulse from his own crystal at her nearness and robbing him, momentarily of breath. “I-I don’t like it. Every time I feel it, I think, ‘What if it changes me?’”

He shivered, remembering his dream from the previous night. Something dark had twisted inside him - a darkness with claws and teeth flashing with black fire. “Don’t be an idiot. The Padjal said we were fine.”

“But-”

Fire and ice suddenly burned in his gut. “Stop worrying about it!!” 

The scrape of her chair ripped through the silent ward as the echo of his voice died in its wake. At the sight of her flattened ears, he immediately regretted his sharp tone. She looked hurt. Had he scared her? He sat forward, his hand flying out toward her. “Wait-”

She flinched away, rocking back on her heels and disappeared through a flurry of curtains.

He listened as quick footsteps receded to the opposite end of the ward room. He pressed his hand over his face as he slumped back into miserable silence and fell heavy against the pillows.  _ Gods damn it... _

  
~~~~~  


That had been the only visit she made during his time in the wards. He sighed.

“Pale? Hey, you in there?”   
  
“Hm? Oh. Sorry.” He looked up at Glass Willow, blinking. He’d phased out again. Pale decided to change the subject. “So how did you and Felina meet?”

“Well… I was a dancer onboard one of Limsa’s pleasure barges. I had been there all of two weeks and stupid me had not caught onto the fact that not everyone onboard was there by choice… until I discovered one. I was heading back to my bunk after work one evening when I heard a ruckus in one of the private rooms. Now, I had been trained to ignore the sounds of whatever went on in those rooms, but that night something sounded off. Against my better judgement, I took a peek inside, and saw someone struggling, and there she was, spittin’ and yowlin’ like a wildcat, but he had her pinned. He had to of been the biggest Roe I’d ever seen. I tried to make him stop, but a bloke like that don’t care much what some dancer girl wants…” She trailed off.

“So what happened?” 

She picked up her croissant, breaking it in two, and smiled at the cheery rolanberry filling. “I grabbed his axe and split his fucking skull open.” She glanced back up into his wide eyes and shrugged. “Then I grabbed her, and we got the hell off that gods forsaken ship.”

Pale blinked. It wasn't the sort of story he expected, though he really couldn't say what sort of story he actually expected from the two of them. "She wasn’t- you weren’t… hurt were you?"

"I wasn't, but I think her little brain got rattled around pretty good. He was gearing up to do something entirely ungentlemanlike, and she got herself sprayed with a fair amount of blood when I put a stop to it, so it took her a little while to get her head right.” She paused, giving Pale an apologetic look. “So, don't take it personal if she's a little standoffish. I never seen her hang around Roes or Elezens for too long. I think tall men like yourself put her on edge sometimes."

Pale frowned. He  _ had _ scared her then, probably more than once. He thought back to their time in the back of the wagon, huddled together and how she leaned against him. It figured the moment she finally relaxed around him, he'd do something… off putting. He set down his fork. Suddenly breakfast wasn’t very appetizing anymore.

“You gonna eat that?” Glass Willow pointed to his plate, and he shoved it over. “You know, she’ll probably be at the Conservatory this afternoon. Nightbird is holding a recital.”

With Gridania’s history of producing bards, it was no surprise they also had one of the most recognized Musical Conservatories in Eorzea. That one of his new squad mates - namely the one who  _ wasn’t _ a bard - studied there,  _ was _ , in fact, a surprise. “And I’d be interested why?”

Glass waved her fork in his direction. “No need to be shy. Kam wasn’t the only one to see the two of you hugged up on each other the other evening.”

His back kinked up at the suggestion. “We were  _ injured _ .”

The Roe speared a forgotten sausage and arched a graceful brow. “Does pain usually make you smile like that?”

The air around them stilled, and Pale leaned forward to pin her with a stare that she met with a wicked grin. The wooden table creaked beneath his elbows as he considered just how the Roe might twist or misconstrue his words. “You must have been mistaken.”

“Don’t worry. Nightbird didn’t see.”

He choked back a growl. “ _ And why should I care?! _ ”

“Oh come on, you’re not that daft, although I would understand why you might not want to show up at her performance, given that little spot of discomfort back in Ul’dah. I’ll say though, you had me fooled for a minute there. Thinking you only fancied the lads.” She laughed and took a bite of her sausage.

“For your information, I don’t  _ fancy _ anyone.”

“Right.” She tapped the side of her nose as she chewed. “I can be discreet when I’ve a mind to.” 

Pale pushed back, crossing his arms. “I highly doubt that, you can’t even manage to  _ listen  _ with any sort of accuracy.”

She swallowed down the bite and chuckled. “I like you, Keles.”

He rolled his eyes. The woman was insane. “ _ Why?! _ ”

“You’re an eggy cunt. Makes you fun to mess with.” She grinned at his exasperation. 

He sighed and sat back in his chair, tipping it until he found that small spot of equilibrium where he could stare skyward and feel that precarious balance that had somehow become his life.

Across the table he heard a snort. “Recital’s at 2:00.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


The fair Miqo’te trained her crystal blue gaze on the stage, fluffy tail flicking against the plush velvet cushion where she sat with restless legs tucked up under her seat and half folded in on herself. This girl who had charmed music from every instrument she’d managed to lay her hands on, who had danced on tables and made a general spectacle of herself on more than a few occasions - this girl now sat hunched and restive, idly nibbling at a finger knuckle in the shadowy back corner of the Gridanian Conservatory of Music’s grand auditorium.

As shadows filed into the auditorium seeking out seats nearer the front, one particular broke off from their number and made its way over to her row, ignoring the better, central seats until it hovered, close enough to be heard even with its relatively low pitched voice.

“Is this seat taken?”

Her crystal quivered in her chest, and she knew who loomed over her before she even looked up. "I don't guess so." Musicians in the pit tuned their instruments, and she straightened as Pale took the seat next to her. “What are you doing here?”

“Glass Willow told me about the performance. Thought I might check it out.”

“Hm.” She turned away as silence stretched between them like a string waiting to be plucked. 

He shifted, angling away from her only to bring out a cloth-wrapped item from a non-descript pouch slung at his hip. With a glance around their immediate surroundings, he picked open the bundle and extended it towards her. “Want one?”

She might have continued to ignore him, but curiosity dragged her gaze down to find a large handful of cookies, and a hiss of a whisper broke her lips. “You aren’t supposed to have those in here!”

“I won’t tell if you won’t.” He leaned his body away from her with a nonchalance only betrayed by the fine tremor of his proffered hand. Her crystal hummed to life at his nearness, the frequency bordering on discomfort.

She nearly declined, but the golden toasted smell of shortbread coaxed her into snatching one up. She took a crumbly bite and chewed without comment, turning her gaze back to the stage. He lowered the parcel, tucking it back up against himself with a breath as he watched her in silence. Maybe he wanted her to respond, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Not that easily. 

A long sigh escaped him after a time. “I shouldn’t have yelled.” 

Her ears twitched backwards, but she refused to turn his way. “It’s  _ fine _ .”

A snort. “Clearly it’s not.”

Her eyes cut sideways as she pinned him with a narrowed glance. “You’re the only person I can talk to about this.” She tapped her chest. “At least, the only one who knows what it’s like. I’m worried… okay?”

He stared at her, a frown creasing his lips, and he leaned forward, rumbling the shard inside her. “We’re going to be alright.”

She finally turned to face him fully, the vibration in her chest trilling with annoyance. “How do you know?”

He sucked in a breath as she leaned even closer, but his expression firmed. “I don’t. But I have to believe it… for my own sanity, if nothing else.”

She stared into his frosty eyes, neither one of them moving an ilm as her crystal thrummed under her breastbone. She could have imagined it, but she swore she heard a rumble of a growl in his throat before he spoke. 

“I said I’m sorry. Ok?”

With a pointed squint and a huff, she snatched another cookie from his palm, and shoved it in her mouth as she slouched back against her seat once more. “These are good. Where did you get them?”

He stared, blinking at her for long moments as she refused to meet his gaze and finally turned and sank back in his own seat. “They’re from the Sunny Harvest. I can’t take credit though. I ran into Glass this morning, and she treated me to breakfast. I thought, perhaps, I should pay it forward.”

_ Really now?  _ A giggle bubbled at her lips, and Felina fought back the urge to laugh out loud.

“ _ What? _ ” 

The annoyance in his voice was enough to break her paper-thin will, and the laughler escaped her control. “Glass isn’t as generous as you think.” At his incredulous look she shook her head. “Don’t worry about it.”

He shrugged. “Regardless, you seem in a better mood, and that was the point.” The barest hint of a smile tugged at his mouth as she finally regained her composure. “So why are we sitting back here in the corner? Aren’t you here to support Nightbird?”

“She knows I’m here, and… it’s complicated. This place is so classy, and I’m so…” She motioned generally at herself. “... _ me _ . Nightbird, though... She’s poised and elegant, and she has a  _ real _ education. She  _ belongs _ here.”

“You’re not the one on stage, you know.”

“I know, but I’d rather not attract any undue attention if I can help it. Shhhh! It’s starting.”

Pale shrugged and let the subject drop. 

The instrumentalists finished tuning, and Nightbird stepped onstage. She sang a set of arias and exhibition pieces - flawless, as always. 

Just as the recital came to an end, Felina got to her feet. “I’m getting out of here.”

Pale raised a brow, but followed her silently out of the hall. Once outside, Felina let out a long breath. “She was good, wasn’t she?”

“She was.” He crossed his arms. “I’m still not certain why you’re not telling her yourself.”

She sighed. “I will. I just-”

“Miss Silverleaf!” Felina started and turned to see an older gentleman approaching. He wore servant's garb of impeccable quality embellished with a silver lily button on the lapel. "If you could spare a moment of your time this day, I would be most grateful."

Felina smiled at the kindly Elezen man, barely suppressing a curse under her breath. "Ah, you must be from Lady Dartancours' household."

The servant inclined his head. "Indeed I am. I apologize for my Lady's persistence, but she has a rather… singular taste in musicians. You must know by now my Lady has developed a rather keen interest in hearing you perform, and I was instructed to seek you out to deliver you a new offer."

"O-ok…" Felina shifted from foot to foot. It had been easier to brush off Lady Dartancours' previous servants, but she couldn't seem to make herself interrupt such a soft spoken old man. Maybe it was a calculated move, but nevertheless she found herself rooted to the spot with Pale eyeing them both with a raised brow.

"Of course Lady Amandine understands you would not wish to accept her patronage blindly, so she has invited you to visit the manor and perform on a trial basis to see if such employ would suit you. You, of course, would be paid for entertaining my Lady for the evening even should you decide to decline her offer."

Her shoulders sagged with a sigh. "I'm under contract with the Twin Adders, and I don't even have a decent instrument, so I'm not sure when I could even perform…"

"Perfectly understandable. Your current contract must be honored, but if you find yourself between assignments, you are welcome to make an impromptu performance. I dare say, my Lady would be most delighted. The manor receives outside entertainers on Wednesday evenings. You need only present yourself at the door when you are ready. As for your instrument, we have several you may borrow for the evening, and if ever you decide to accept Lady Amandine's patronage, you will be provided an instrument of your own."

Felina's eyes brightened for a moment, but a small frown touched her lips, and she shook her head. "I'll have to think on it."

The servant bowed with a kindly smile. "Of course. I shall leave you to enjoy the rest of your day, Ms. Silverleaf."

Her eyes followed the older man as he walked away. She released a belabored sigh and turned to find Pale studying her. "So? Are you going to do it?"

"No way."

He actually looked a bit startled. "What? Why not?"

By that point more people began filing out of the auditorium, and she grabbed at Pale’s sleeve, ignoring the shivering hum from her crystal at his proximity, and pulled him along. "Come on."

The rush of a nearby stream helped to drown out the troublesome sensation, and Felina turned toward it. The smell of water and greenery promised a more tranquil setting even if her heart felt like it would pound its way out of her chest. A small bridge came into view, and she angled away toward a cluster of boulders at the stream’s bank before she stopped and released Pale’s cuff.

He stepped back and folded his arms as he eyed her. "You still haven't answered my question." 

The hum of her crystal receded but never really went away. With all the thoughts swirling in her head, it was proving more of an annoyance than usual.

He leaned forward, insistent. “Would it really be so bad to take the offer?”

Felina sagged against the mossy boulder, its solid presence giving her the sense of grounding she needed. "It's the kind of deal Nightbird would kill for… and one she hasn't gotten."

“I see. For the record, I don’t care one way or the other. All I’m saying is, wouldn’t Nightbird understand if you really wanted to take on a patron?”

"It would be great, don't get me wrong, but having a patron, along with all the security and stability that provides… that's Nightbird's big dream. I can't just accept such an invitation without considering her feelings. Maybe it seems silly to you, but she was my first real friend. I have to protect that."

"Even if it means giving up something you want?"

She nodded. 

"You're a good friend."

Felina let out a long breath. “I want to be.” She hopped up on one of the boulders and swung her feet while Pale pulled a familiar cloth from his hip pouch.

“There’s still a few more of these if you want them.” He held out the shortbread they had been snacking on back in the auditorium. The conciliatory smile that tugged at his lips held her attention longer than she wanted to admit, and she found her cheeks heating as she chanced a returning smile.

“Sure.”

She reached out to take a cookie, and their fingers brushed. She sucked in a breath as silence descended. Her inner world stilled as her crystal’s ceaseless humming came to a sudden and merciful halt. The world around her still moved and sang, just as it always had before the crystal had made its home in her body. Her eyes met Pale’s sky blue gaze wide in silent awe. 

“It’s still.” His hand flattened against his chest, and let out a breath in a whoosh. “Finally.”

Felina looked down. The cookies were on the ground, forgotten, as Pale’s fingers clasped her own. She felt strangely calm, sliding her fingers into his palm as he stepped closer, his hand wrapping around her smaller one. “Why?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. We need to speak with the Padjal again, but for the moment perhaps we could… just...” His opposite hand folded around the top of the one he already clasped, holding it as something far more fragile and precious than she could ever be. He closed his eyes and let out another long breath, this one quiet and even, like a meditation. The sounds of the outside world faded around her, and she found herself following his breathing as his thumb traced slow circles on the back of her fingers.

In the silence and stillness, a flicker of heat bloomed causing her heart to leap and race inside her chest. His eyes were closed, snowy lashes fanned out against the darker hollows below his eyes. Had he not been sleeping? She hadn’t noticed until now. Did his crystal disturb his dreams the same way hers did? “Pale?”

“Hmm?” He didn’t open his eyes, but the faintest curve of his lips revealed his contentment.

“Do you-” Her hands were shaking. Could he feel it? “Do you want to-”

A small dark figure rounded the bend, and her mouth went dry. Felina snatched her hand away, scrambling down from the boulder and ignoring the surprised elezen as well as the returning hum of her crystal. "Nightbird!" Felina ran over to greet her friend with a hug, nearly bowling her over.

“Felina!” She laughed. 

“You were wonderful today!” She turned to the dumbstruck elezen she had left behind. “Wasn’t she?”

“Y-yes. A singular performance.” 

The dark miqo’te’s color deepened with a blush, but she smiled, pleased. “I’m glad you could attend.” Felina let go of her friend and swallowed down the heavy feeling in her throat as Nightbird approached Pale with a demure smile. “You didn’t have to, you know.”

The barest hint of pink colored his ears, but he smiled back at Nightbird. “Of course I did. We are a team, aren’t we?”

Her smile broadened and she closed her eyes in delighted laughter. “I suppose we are!”

Felina couldn’t bring herself to move, to close the distance. She couldn’t help but notice how happy Pale’s presence had made her friend. Her  _ dearest  _ friend. Nightbird’s laughter was beautiful and genuine and clear as silver chimes in the wind. She was truly beautiful when she laughed, always elegant and graceful no matter the circumstance. Who  _ couldn’t  _ be charmed by her?

But over her dark head, Pale’s gaze rose to capture her own with a knowing smile, and he mouthed a question. “Aren’t we?”

Her eyes widened, her cheeks heating even at her present distance. All she could do was nod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think Felina wanted to do? Leave your best guesses in the comments below! Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
